Milestones

I feel like there's so much to update you on. Maybe it's because I haven't been updating the blog as often as I used to. Rest assured that it is NOT indicative of falling off course or anything close to that.  In fact, it's quite the opposite. Things are going remarkably well!!

My First 10k Race:

I am sticking to my 10k training plan getting ready to run my first 10k on November 5th.  I almost think that I have been sticking to my training plan and not faltering because I haven't been blogging about it!  There is definitely an accountability push to blogging, but there's also an intimidation factor to it also. It can sometimes backfire for me. I have been known to get a "stage fright" when I put myself out there to climb mountains I am afraid to set foot on so I waited until I felt comfortable in my new back to work/day care routine to share. This time I'm doing it and I'm far enough into my training that I feel confident to say that nothing is going to stop me from crossing that 10k finish line. Barring an injury of course, but we won't speak of that sort of stuff, now will we?

I was VERY intimidated to start. In fact I hadn't run in weeks before starting my program and was afraid I'd have to start from scratch which I quickly discovered was not the case. I know that I chose the right program for me.  To lessen the intimidation factor of running my first 10k while fitting in training as I have returned to work, I have decided to follow a "gradual build - to finish" program. It's as easy as a 10k training program can get, I would imagine. I run 4 times a week, 3 of which are during the work week and if you look at the plan, you can see that they are relatively short distances (3-5k) that I am able to fit into my lunch hour!  There really wasn't another way for me to make it work.  I'm a working mama now and after a day's work, picking up my son from day care, getting him fed, bathed and into bed, it's nearing 7:30 before the opportunity even arises to fit it in. By then, it's turning dark and I'm tired!  So I'm very happy that I'm able to work my training runs during my lunch hour.  The benefits to this are very worth it:

• Endorphins are a great way to get through the second half of the work day
• It feels great knowing I've gotten it out of the way and done!
• I get to run in the city where there's many different routes/streets to explore - Halifax is green & scenic with arcs of trees overhead on every side street.
• It's time for me and only me to do something for myself. As a Mom, it becomes second nature to do anything and everything for your child that they need and in the early months/year(s), it can become easy to toss yourself aside because it's very easy to toss your own needs/goals aside.  Now that I'm back to work, having a lunch hour to myself has an entirely different meaning and purpose. As something I took for granted before, it's now an hour I get to myself where I can't "do dishes, laundry..fill in the blank" - it's time for me to work toward training my body and getting better each day. What a boost.
• It's at at time of day that motivation is high and I'm actually "excited" to do it. Even more exciting is that each and every time I have been getting faster and doing better.  Big boost!

I still have to update the exact stats from the one I have on my fridge with the one I have on google docs, but I have made it available for you to view and/or comment.  I think it's a good idea because I want people to see that you don't have to be anything close to a speed demon or 130lbs to be able to run and train for something like a 10k.  Crossing that finish line is what you make it out to be.  You can do it for yourself and be proud of yourself.  Anyone else's acheivements have no bearing on yours.  Your circumstances are different from mine and are different from people who run 10k's in their sleep.  It's important to see that you can do it if you want to.  I'm not a fast runner, but I'll cross the finish line running.

Post Partum Weight Loss:

Check it!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

FORTY POUNDS, YO! 

(as of the time of this post, but this ticker will change because it is linked to my account on My Fitness Pal).

I cannot say enough good things about My Fitness Pal. It has everything I would ever want from a weight loss site. Still can't believe it's FREE and has an amazing iPhone app where you can actually scan barcodes from your food packages to track your food!  Friend me if you are a member or decide to sign up! We can encourage each other all the way :-)

My goal is to be at 195 by race day which will only be 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight and 25 lbs to get be back to my goal. Totally doable! I weighed-in at 204lbs last weekend, so it's totally doable methinks. Either way, I have to say, focusing my efforts on running and this race has taken my mind off of the scale. I feel like I'm just going with the flow of life, eating approximately 1500 calories a day (a very sustainable number for me), following my running program and living my life to the fullest with my little family that I love.

P.S. The Husband is getting teeny tiny! He's close to 50 lbs lost now! I wish he would let me share his photo with you. Maybe I can talk him into letting me share one, we shall see!


Working Mama:

I am happy to say that on our third week into our new routine of Cameron going to day care, he is looooving it! He no longer cries or whines and reaches for me when I drop him off in the morning. Instead he crawls down off of my lap, starts playing with this little friends and waves "bye bye Mama" to me as I leave for the day. This couldn't make a working Mama happier than to know that he's enjoying his days at day care.

Along with this little development has come a new phase in the sleeping routine where he has decided to cut ME off from rocking him to sleep anymore! I never thought it would happen this way, but it's the way I always dreamed it would happen. It makes me sad in many ways, especially since I no longer have all day with him and it was kind of nice to be able to give him extra snuggles as he drifted off peacefully to sleep, but this is all a part of growing up, right?! *sniffs*

My baby still isn't completely ready to completely take off on two feet and still a little tentative about walking. He gets the biggest thrill of standing up on his own, but he's not quite ready to take flight yet!

Take all the time you need, my sweet little boy ;-) Thank you for not growing up tooooooo fast for Mama!

Big Day Downtown - The Video!

A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was a Halifax blogger selected by the Downtown Halifax Business Commission in their "Big Day Downtown" campaign.  The rules were simple: here's a $100 prepaid Visa card and have fun downtown and "try something new" and blog about it.

Yes please!

 So since my buddy Lynn was also selected to participate again this year, we thought we could use the opportunity to have a fun day together.  For me it was the perfect way for me to spend one of my last days off before returning back to work full time while Cameron was in his first transition week at day care.

Once we started brain storming ideas of things to do, I quickly realized that this assignment was going to be an easy one for me because I never really get much opportunity to really go and enjoy downtown much at all and there was plenty that I had never experienced before.  I will let the video speak for itself and you can head on over to Lynn's blog for some more beautiful photos from our adventures :-)



(Don't you love where my face freezes frame? Hot I tell you)

Cheers!

My 100 Pound Heart

Being a mother is 100% the best thing I have ever experienced, but I have to say there are times when I feel like it's this dichotomy of supreme love and supreme angst/guilt.  It's back to work time for this Mom and while I knew it would be difficult leaving him to go to day care (of course it would be, that's a given!) and to go back to work, it completely caught me off guard just how intense the difficulty would be to leave him at day care.  Heart wrenching to say the least.

I'm in finishing up week 2 of day care and week 1 of work and I can honestly say that it's getting better, but had I written a post last week, I think the tone of it would have been much different.  Last Monday I was an emotional roller coaster.  Kind of like what you feel like when you are grieving something, when one minute you're fine and the next you burst into tears.  And just the thought of that makes me guilty because I have a healthy and vibrant child and therefore I have the world, so if it hurts this much to put him in day care, in a place where he will most likely thrive after he's adjusted, I simply cannot imagine or even fathom the thought of having a child who has an illness or worse and I won't even say it.

See where my mind goes? Isn't that dramatic?? My child is "just" going to daycare and I'm "just" going back to work and 204829347429348234 other babies and moms (and dads) have done this before me but our first week during this transition just tore me to pieces.  Thankfully it's getting better every day.

His first day was last Monday and I had a  week to help him transition before going back to work, so we showed up later than he would normally be there and I stuck around a little later and showed up for pick up a little bit early.

I try to be a positive person and I have focused on all of the pros of going back to work. I enjoy working as a professional and using my brain in that way that isn't a part of my daily life at home as a mom. I enjoy the challenges of my job. I work in the legal field and I have always loved law and I went to school for a long time! It's nice to know that I have that aspect of my life too.  Cameron will be proud of me for this some day.

But!

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT!!!

Leaving my baby with a stranger in a place he is unfamiliar and hearing him cry and having someone else put him down for a nap in a room full of other babies and knowing that he us only used to my comfort has just about killed me on his first day. 

Oh my heart.

Now that we are coming to the end of week two, while he still clings onto me with all of the might of his little arms not wanting to let go of his Mommy when I take him to day care still kills me, he is having good days there and sleeps well and he's doing better. Every day that goes by he seems more at ease when I pick him up which helps me relax just a bit.

I'm doing better too.

I was lucky to get a few decent shots of him playing outside at day care last week before I went back to work. Mama needs a photo for her desk, no?

Moms go around with their hearts walking around outside of their bodies apparently and I never realized how vulnerable loving another human being as much as your child can make you feel when they are out of your arms reach being influenced by a part of the world that you aren't a part of.  It's like nothing else.

It still bothers me that someone else is getting to see him all day long and watch him learn new things and reports to me how he's pushing along things and walking behind them while I missed it. But that's how it is in a dual income family.  Upon this long weekend I will soak up every single second of him.