Angie the Photog

 

Since this little man entered my world, I have finally gotten my hands on a DSLR camera that I have yearned for for a long time!  They are expensive, so we did some research and ended up snagging one on Kijiji that came with two lenses and a macro extension tube.  The lenses are good, but when Christmas morning came, I opened up a mac daddy of a lens from my husband! Yayyyy me!!  Now, thus far, I haven’t yet had the time to properly learn how to use my SLR to it’s full potential and am signed up to take a couple of beginner courses at Henry’s but not until the end of February – CANNOT WAIT!  This photograph above was taken using my new lens without really playing around with the aperture, ISO, white balance and all of that fun stuff that I cannot wait to dive into.  As you can see, the camera and mac daddy lens does a fantastic job!  This was my Little Peanut’s first swim over visiting “Auntie” Tasha!

Sooooo since I have to wait until the end of February for the courses, wouldn’t you know it that Shelagh is holding an photography e-course starting on Friday for 6 weeks!  It’s geared for beginner photographers and those in a “rut” as she shares some photography tips relating to creativity and viewing the world around you in a more creative way.  There will be weekly assignments where we’ll be sharing our photos on a private Flickr group and I’m really looking forward to it.  It’s a bit out of my comfort zone which is why I’m so excited for it.  I’ve had an interest in photography for as long as I can remember but didn’t have much opportunity to pursue it so here I go!

What’s making it even more fun is that a few other blog and twitter friends (Shari and Heather)  have decided to join up as well and we’ll be doing it together, so if anyone else is interested in participating with us, please sign up! It’s starts this Friday!!

You may remember, along with being a very talented artist (view her paintings on Etsy), Shelagh was the beauty behind the lens of my maternity photos :-)

I may decide to start sharing my photos here, or add a Flickr gadget!

Happiest Mama On The Block

Since becoming a Mom nearly 5 months ago now, I have toyed with the idea of joining the "mom blog" community and blogging more about my experiences being a Mom in these first few months.  It seemed like it was the perfect fit for me, since I have been blogging now for 4 years, love to blog, and to me, blogging is more about my own personal growth than anything else.  I like to get my thoughts out through my fingertips and receive your feedback in return.  You have all been nothing but amazing blog readers and friends and have offered me lots of valuable feedback and advice - something which I felt I definitely could use navigating my way through the first few months of being a Mom!

But the more I started reading some "mom blogs," the more I started to realize that you need to be pretty darn thick skinned to handle all of the criticism that goes with that territory.  I mean, even when I was pregnant, I could smell the parental judgments coming a mile away.  There are as many parenting styles as there are Moms and babies, none of which are "wrong" and all of which are "right" and the opinions all come from a very personal place in a parent's heart, so they are defended very strongly. 

Throughout these past 5 months I have LOVED being a mom and am continuously surprised at how much better it gets every.single.day.  You just have no idea how much you can love another person until the day you become a mom - and every day after that.  Along with all of that were many, many, many struggles - all of which push you to every possible limit both physically and mentally, I wanted to blog.  Many, many times I wanted to share my experiences with you and get your feedback.  I needed an outlet (hello Twitter! lol), a source of support and maybe even some tips and advice from you other Moms out there.  But, truth be told, I didn't feel like on top of all of the challenges of the time, I firstly, even had the time to write the posts, and secondly, could handle the criticism and debates that would most likely go along with posts involving struggles with breastfeeding and baby sleep habits.  Any of you Mom Blog readers out there know exactly what I'm talking about.

I have struggled with all of the same things every other Mom struggles with; mainly breastfeeding and sleeping.  If you are lucky enough to be dealing with an otherwise healthy baby (thank you Lord), those are the big players that I have faced and I think most Moms agree, those are the big ones.  Now that I feel like I'm through those initial months of "basic training" as a Mom, I'm better able to share a bit more because it's a part of who I am now and I have gained so much through reading the blogs of other Moms that I feel like I want to "contribute" in some way for another first time Mom out there who are about to embark on the same journey.  I will share my two cents about those topics at some point in another post for that reason.

But for now, just because I'm BEYOND happy and excited about this recent development, I will skip right to the present: last night for the first time, my son, the Little Peanut, went to sleep, in his crib, on his own.  Not only that, but he woke up twice throughout the night (not 4+) and both times, going back to sleep were on his own - no breastfeeding, no bottle, no motion - oh and no crying either!  Yes he was fed when he woke, but he wasn't asleep when put back in his crib and he just went back to sleep!  The second time, he even spent 20 minutes "talking" and kicking his legs but then just fell asleep.  (I would have paid $1million for that Oceanwonders Aquarium in retrospect - just sayin! I will post about all of this another day because as you can see I'm already getting long winded!)

Now, I will try to refrain from explaining how freaking amazing that is and how if a genie came to give me just one wish in this world, that this might have just been it because I think you get the idea.  Up until this point, he was waking every 2-3 hours with the exception of a period where he was sleeping for 5-7 hours in the first part of his night, but then he reverted back to the 2-3.  Up until this past week, he was still also sleeping in a bassinet in our room and now he's settled VERY nicely in his own room in his crib and it was an absolutely seamless transition.  He's sleeping in there like he belongs there and it shows.

• Now we don't have to tip toe into our room to go to bed
• I have use of my own bathroom now where I can now enjoy evening time baths in my tub while he is asleep in HIS room down the hall
• Switching sleep positions and making any noise isn't going to wake him
• The dog's fingernails on the floor isn't going to wake him either!

So as you can see, I'm a VERY HAPPY MOM!  So happy that I completely forgot to weigh in this morning until I went to track my morning coffee!  So I marched upstairs to weigh in and then there was the icing on the cake:

-5.4 lbs!!!

Then it gets better! Nan came over watch the Little Peanut while the husband and I went to see a movie and got a bite to eat!

A round of drinks on me!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

The End Game IS Today

Nothing like a new season of The Biggest Loser to get your motivational juices running!  I watched half of it last night and the rest of it tonight and there was one very simple sentence that came out of Bob's mouth when he was pep talking the heaviest contestant who has a 300 lb road ahead of him after already losing 160 lbs.  He said, "We can't think about that end game, we have to think about today."
The struck me in just the right way. 

In the beginning of starting on the road to weight loss, you have visions of yourself at your goal weight and it's all wonderful and you're all happy and healthy and enjoying your life (you can see yourself "there" and you know what I'm talking about).  But then the glimpse gets clouded by all the "time" and "work" that is required to bring that vision forward to present.  Often times, for me, that's enough to deter me right off track - the idea of how much work (and patience) is required to get "there." 

But I have news for you (read: me).  You I will be unhappy every single day of my life if I'm not actively doing what it takes to get back there again.  You I can stop thinking about it in terms of the time that is required to get the job done because at the end of the day, that time is going to pass by whether you I am doing what is required of me to get "there" or not.

You I WE need to spend this precious time owning this challenge and getting the job done!  I still remember how wonderful I felt on those two days and I look forward doing it again this year, regardless of where I am on my weight loss journey:
 
 

That’s me and I felt like a friggin million bucks both times I ran the 5k and it FELT like it was the marathon, I was so friggin proud.  And I SHOULD have been.  I don’t care who’s running marathons and ultramarathons or whatever – I worked HARD to get to a place that allowed me to do it – one telephone poll at a time. 

My END game is HERE, today, my friends.

Gun Shy

So here I am all signed back up as a Weight Watchers Online member again, tracking, getting back on my feet (for realz) and learning how to juggle all the planning and preparing with taking care of a 4 1/2 mth old who is still keeping me up every 2-3 hrs most nights (can't believe he's that old already).  While the pieces are falling into place to ensure a successful weight loss journey (oh yes, it's happening and I'm getting back to my old self again, you.better.believe.it) and everyone's all "bring on 2011" I have to admit that I find myself standing here at the starting line a little gun shy. I am finding myself shying away from the physical activity part.  I've had this feeling before when I had a long hiatus from physical activity, but this time I think I'm afraid to put my old new (soon to be old again) body to the test to see how "bad" it really is. I mean I know it's bad because I'm experiencing physical pain on a daily basis, but exercise, THAT will be the true truth teller.

Ya see, over the last year, I don't know if you know this or not (ha ha), but I had a baby and (re)gained all kinds of extra baby weight.  I call it "baby" weight because it occurred while I was pregnant, but it was by no means necessary (or even a wise idea) to occur during that time.  But nonetheless, here I am standing (and feeling) every single extra pound.  Notice how I'm not really saying how much weight? I think it still shocks me too much to publicly admit it (yet).

One year ago I was semi-regularly going to the gym and in retrospect was probably in the best shape of my life, even though I didn't appreciate it and I was a far cry from being what I would consider "fit" and I would have pretend races on the treadmill with the guy or girl next to me and fantasized about crossing the finish line of the Bluenose Half Marathon that I had just recently committed to running and was very excited about starting training.  My Christmas presents were ALL running gear and training related (hello Garmin 305 that has NEVER been used yet), running room gift card to equip me to run and train in the winter with the Running Room, stocking filled with goos and gels to fuel be through the "long" runs to come.


Wow how things have changed. Big.Wow.

Lots of people do it.  Lots of people continue running, maintain impressive levels of physical fitness throughout their pregnancy and are right back at it soon after having their baby.  And as much as I dreamed of being one of those people (even before I was pregnant) and as much as I felt like everyone almost "expected" it from me - given my commitment to my weight loss and improving my health - I fell into the other category with lots of other people who go the other way.  I don't feel great about it - in fact it takes my breath away some days.  BUT I know I'm not alone - not by a long shot.

All of this rambling just to try to work through my thoughts as to why I am afraid to work up that first sweat again.  Not that I ever felt like doing it before I was a mom, but there's a definite new iron kick in the pants needed to get me to move my buns after the little one has gone to bed.  When he goes to bed around 6:15, it's the first and only opportunity I have "free" - free to make supper, eat supper, tidy up, sit and relax, play online, watch TV, read etc.  I go to bed around 10 at which point our Little Peanut could have me up anywhere from 2 to 4+ times during the night. 

Even though it's exhausting, my most motivating time of the day would be after I get up with him in the morning, have had a coffee (or two) and then he is ready for his first nap (around 9).  THEN would be the best time to pop in a DVD or run downstairs and hop on the elliptical, BUT (there's the but) - the little guy ONLY will nap for 30 mins on.the.dot.  You can set your watch to it.  So while there might be just enough time to get part of a workout in, there's no other time to catch breakfast etc. 

I'm trying to be patient because he's making big strides on his independent play time, so I'm hoping that I can bring his exersaucer into the basement and "hope" that he can last in it long enough beside me while I bring it on the elliptical.  I guess I could look at it as a glass half full kind of thing, like "even if I get 15 minutes in, it's better than none" but COME ON how frustrating would be be to JUST start to work up a sweat and then it's over.  I'm also looking into taking him to the gym and just paying the extra $5 for him to go in the day care.  It sucks to have to pay on top of my membership, but it also sucks that I'm not currently USING the membership either so it's time to show my face there again & take that step with the little one and have him experience play at gym while Mom's getting her sweat on.

Deal? See, I knew I could work through a thing or two, if I just sat here and got my thoughts out there to you guys!

Oh and I'm not sure exactly what event yet, but I'm running in the Bluenose again this year.  Even if it's the 5k walk/run with the stroller, I'm doing it.  The extent of my participation will all depend on my weight loss and fitness progress up to that point, but either way - I'M DOING!  And lucky for me that a fine group of ladies on twitter have expressed interest in forming a little walking group in preparation for the same, so we're bringin' the Bluenose bloggies :-)


How do you Moms do it? Where and how do you trim out the time for yourself with a young baby?