The Club

Thank you ALL for your input on my call for advice regarding my little one's nursing to sleep and lack of day time sleeping "issues."  You all had wonderful words of wisdom, suggestions and personal experience to share.  I truly love hearing your input because as we all know, every baby is different and so is every mother.  I find your feedback incredibly valuable.  I think I kinda like the "Mom" blog side of things too and I'm going to give some more thought about the direction this blog is going to be heading.  I'm very excited about it. :-) 

I had been trying nearly all of the things you had suggested and now that my little peanut has reached his 6 week mark, it is now obvious to me that my little man is now reaching an age where he is better "ready" to venture a little farther from Mama's cocoon little by little.  He is now ready to not "need" to nurse to sleep every time and will now nap if I bounce him on the exercise ball & sometimes prefers it. 

He is sleeping better in the day time and that truly was the root of the entire problem.  As soon as he started to get more sleep during the day, it was like he woke up from his newborn haze and presented his beautiful bright and smiley face that has given me ALL the reward I needed and truly made the lack of sleep seem insignificant.  Without trying to get too cheesy and cliche on you - yes there has been some sobbing moments for me at 4a.m. (not because he was fussing, just because I was so tired and only getting 1 hr stretches of sleep together with not getting any naps during the day truly was taking its toll) - as soon as he started greeting me with a big huge smiling face every single morning when he wakes up rested and ready for the day, it all changed. 

I never in a million years could have imagined how much impact that little smiling face can have on your life.  I always "heard" it from moms and while I did anxiously anticipate that day to come (even though I did already get some smiles mixed in the cranky over tired days), there is something so different about it now.  I spent so many years getting my education and working in a professional job that fulfilled me in completely different ways that I didn't really know what I was missing out on until now. 

I'm now a part of the "club" and the reason I know this is that little Peanut and I made our first trip to the grocery store on Friday and I wore him in my Baby Bjorn carrier where he promptly fell asleep for the entire trip around the store (yay!).  At first it was the way the elderly women smiled at him and me kind of "knowingly" saying that they don't get the chance to see too many little ones any more.  It was just the look on their faces and the way they smiled.  Then as I was loading the groceries into the trunk of the car (with Peanut still strapped to my chest), a nice woman came over to me and said, "Can I help you with your groceries? I remember what it was like with a little one."  At first I almost resisted her assistance with a "No, thanks" out of habit, but then I stopped myself and let her help me.  Waiting for her a few cars up was her young teenaged son.  There was something about her that struck me almost like I had encountered a future version of myself.  She told me that she had just come back from a run and it was like that little piece of information (which I assume she was telling me because she was dressed in workout clothes) was enough to help me see that one day I will be there again too.  It was like I was standing back and watching it all happen and noticing her son waiting for her.

It feels really good to be a member of this club :-)

My Boy, 5 Weeks Old - Opinions Please

I've heard it many, many times before how quickly this time passes you by when your children are infants and my oh my I can't stress how true that is!  I can't believe it's been so long since I've had two hands free to post a blog either!  Our little man is now five weeks old and while I have only really gotten out of the house for his doctor's appointments (he's gaining really well and weighed in at 8 lbs, 11 oz on Tuesday!), I was able to escape the house with my little man in tow to meet Lynn and Tasha for coffee - and of course MariLynn came along with her new lens :-)

 

It was GREAT to get out of the house!  I was a little anxious not knowing how he would handle being out and about because he seems to be lacking in some much needed long day time naps which causes him to be a cranky mister.  I didn't know how I was going to be able to handle him if he started crying too much if he was to become overstimulated if he didn't fall asleep.  The three of us gabbed away 4 hours and I couldn't even believe it!  What I couldn't believe most of all is that you will notice that it's day time and we have a sleeping baby on our hands :-)  He slept the whole time and woke for feeding twice and was back fast asleep.  I thought I would enlist the advice of many of your seasoned Moms out there who have any advice for me.  Any advice is appreciated :-)  

If any of you follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed I've been tweeting a bit about my little peanut's sleep "issues" that occur during the day time.  For some reason, he just doesn't stay asleep in the day time for any longer than an hour and most especially he will usually wake if he is put down.  So basically I have to hold him nearly all day long other than for his activity time when he wakes up from his short naps and is interested to watching his mobiles etc. which is really for only a very short time. (This would be when I'd burn through the kitchen trying to fix myself a snack or something! lol)  Most of his day time nap lengths range between 20 - 45 minutes when they should be between 1.5-2 hours of consolidated sleep.  He'll awake after a short sleep cycle and wants to be back at the breast.  So rather than feeding every 2-3 hours during the day, he wants to eat every hour or so.  I'm starting to wonder if he's developing into a day time "snacker" but I think it's more likely that he then tries to pacify himself (back to sleep), but on me!  It's really tough because it now seems like he cannot go to sleep unless he is at the breast and must be in a deep sleep for me to swaddle him up to put him down, otherwise he will spring back awake!  The only time he's every fallen asleep not in someone's arms (he has fallen asleep a few select times while someone else was holding him), was driving in the car.

Night time is not a problem (thank heavens!) as he will stay asleep and only wake for his feedings and that is tough enough on it's own :-D.  But during the day, when you have a baby on your hands who doesn't like to stay down for his much needed sleep, you get a cranky little mister and a mama who can't get any rest during the day either!

I feel so conflicted about his nursing to sleep "issue."  I say issue because the only reason it raises concern to me is because I'm hoping that we're not developing a negative sleep pattern that we'll have to break down the road (i.e. that he'll "need" to nurse to sleep for much longer than these first few early months).  As a mom, I want to give him what he needs and he tells me what he needs by rooting.  I simply cannot/will not deny him if he's communicating to me that's what he wants/needs.  I get some people telling me "oh that's not good" and others telling me "it's natural" and not to worry that it won't last (I really like this answer!).  I've also learned that there is, in fact, a substance in breast milk that makes the baby sleepy, so when you think about it, it does seem natural that he would want to sleep after feeding where he's all cozy next to mom and where he can soothe by suckling (the only thing he can really do at this age).  I also experimented introducing a pacifier to him and he wants no part of it.  I never thought that I would want him to take a pacifier, but now I wish I introduced it to him EARLY.  I'm beginning to think that if he were able to soothe himself to sleep/while sleeping, we might not have this little "issue" of his short day time napping and consequent shorter feedings.  I can't really figure out why it's different at night though - night rhythms perhaps?

The Baby Whisperer book was given to me by a friend which tells you that your baby should follow the "E.A.S.Y." routine (i.e. Eat, Activity, Sleep, You).  Essentially, feed the baby when he wakes up, change his diaper to wake him up after the feed where he'll engage his awake alert activity time, then when he's showing signs of fatigue, put him down for his nap where you'll have time for "you."  Sure!! Sounds great in "theory" but my baby is more of a "E.S.E.A." kind of a fella who wants to eat/pacify in between everything!

So my bloggies and wise resource of expertise and advice, please enlighten me when your advice and/or experience on my little "situation" I have.  The Mom in me thinks it will pass as he grows a bit older, but the psych major in me worries about the habits and patterns that we are developing.  What do you think?  Please enlighten me if you have had any experience with this at all :-)