Just Me & My Boy

Hi Everyone!  Here's a candid photo of the little one (17 days old now!) and me this morning.  There's no fixing of the hair although I am proud to say that I was able to brush my teeth!

Today is the husband's first day back to work and it's just me and the little one at home today.  The past two weeks gave me what I needed in the confidence department and I am totally at ease.  In fact the past entire week I have taken the reins almost in "practice" for it just being the two of us and to be honest, I'm finding it much easier than I had expected (I know I will eat my words later!).  As far as expectations go, labour and delivery was harder than I expected and being a breastfeeding Mommy to a newborn is easier than I expected.  I'm happy that the "harder" than expected part was just the temporary short term part :-)

We are settled in quite nicely and while I am of course tired, he's doing fantastic and at night his feedings are 3 hours apart at present, so it's the best case scenario for newborn feedings.  During the day, he fights his naps a bit more and feeds a bit more frequently, but I'd rather that than during the night which of course can quickly change on a dime too.

This blog was a weight loss blog up until the little peanut made his presence into my life, but as my life changed and it became a pregnancy blog.  This blog is going to again become a weight loss blog because bloggies, I definitely have some mucho weight to lose.  I'm not thinking about it or addressing it (or stepping on the scale either) until six weeks post partum when the doctor clears me for activity again.  I figure by then I will have the hang of this Mommy stuff and will be able to slowly incorporate tackling this weight loss journey of mine once again with a new badge of honour - Mommyhood.  It certainly wasn't easy the first time without having a little someone else to think about before myself, but I have no doubt that I will find my way there again :-)

Our Little Man - 9 Days Old

Don't ya just wanna eat him???  Lynn and Tasha came over this afternoon and Lynn brought her new Harley camera (Marilyn is her name) and she put her new camera skills to great use! Lucky for us because WOW she got some really great shots of our little man!

Thank you Lynn for these photos! They are priceless! xoxoxox

Happy 1 Week Little Peanut!

(3 days old)

I can hardly believe that today our little boy is already one week old.  Things are going amazing well for us and we are a very happy little family.  So far I have been able to avoid the expected baby blues or period of feeling "weepy" with the exception of a few "I'm so happy I'm weepy" moments and I believe it's all thanks to my incredible husband who has stepped up above and beyond what I would have ever expected as a husband and as a father.  He loves our little boy so much and is taking care of us.  He really deserves an entire post of his own :-)

The birth of our baby boy was the farthest thing of what I had expected, but of course that was the biggest piece of advice I was given was to be flexible and at the end of the day, I delivered a very healthy and alert baby boy born Friday the 13th and get this: his weight was 7 lb 7.7 oz! Now I don't know about you, but that's a very big coincidence and I think it is a great sign :-)

It was a good thing that I didn't have a particular "birth plan" in mind because while I had visions of holding our little peanut immediately after birth with as few interventions as possible, we did experience complications that required the use of forceps and experienced some of my own troubles following the birth, I will say that while interventions are not ideal in some circumstances, there are times when things may not have such a happy ending without them.  I am grateful to have had the luxury of outstanding medical care at the IWK I will just leave it at that.  I've decided not to share all of the details of his birth, simply because I don't think anything can be gained by hearing it.  I don't want that to sound "scary" or "bad" just that I remember hearing birth stories from other people while I was pregnant that did nothing to help ease my anxiety of what to expect and our story was not typical and I wouldn't want any expectant mom to worry needlessly.  All that is important is that our baby boy and I are a happy and healthy mother and son :-)

Breastfeeding

While I may not have had 100% control over the events of our birth, the one thing that I knew I did have some more control over was establishing breastfeeding.  Before Cameron's birth, I had read countless books, websites and other breastfeeding resources, not to mention attending a La Leche League meeting while I was pregnant to prepare myself for what to expect and how to deal with any potential problems and issues.  Of course there is always some anxiety surrounding educating yourself about these things because then you worry that you will experience some of the same challenges that I had read about.  I had even been told by some that doing so would essentially "set the stage" so to speak for such problems to occur and would set me up for defeat.  I am very happy to say that while breastfeeding was indeed a challenge to establish in the first 2 days in the hospital, we kept at it and we are now a successful breastfeeding duo!  This was more important to me than any birth plan or unexpected complications.

We had our first outing and checkup with the doctor yesterday and little Cameron is doing very well and gaining weight.  He is still not back to his birth weight yet (just around 7 lbs), but hopefully by our next check up in a week's time, we'll be closer to the mark!  I'm not worried in the least.  He's latching and eating well, getting all of his requisite wet and dirty diapers and gaining.  One of my biggest worries was that I would be one of the unlucky 1/3 of women with PCOS who has difficulty with milk coming in and/or sufficient supply, but so far it doesn't look like that's me! HUGE sigh of relief!

I will say though, that I did have one nurse who did try to push a formula "top up" on me during our second day even though I told her I was reluctant and wanted him to have breast milk exclusively unless his circumstances were medically necessary.  Cameron's bilirubin levels were getting a bit on the high side, but he wasn't yet into the zone to be put under the bili lights.  He had some bruising on his head which also causes bilirubin to go up.  It is a very vulnerable position to be in.  On the one hand, you want to trust the advice of your care providers and you want what is best for your baby, especially if there's any health concern, but on the other hand, I've read about this exact same scenario happening and tried to prepare for it.  Even still I felt pressured and vulnerable and agreed to one very small top up.  I did it, but it didn't sit right with me and my saving grace was the switch to the night shift nurse.  She completely supported my feelings and within a few hours Cameron was a breastfeeding champ and we were on our way!  I am only mentioning this because it was a concern I had and mentioned during our pre-natal classes and the nurse teaching the class answered me frankly telling me that "it depends on your nurse" and she was right.  To me, feeding him formula is not the end of the world and it can help in many cases, but it was not what I wanted to just "do" as a default and I'm glad that it ended up working out fine. Cameron's bilirubin levels peaked as was expected and he is now perfectly fine :-)  I now live for this "milk drunk" face:

(6 days old)

Over all, our little guy is a very content baby.  He only cries if he's hungry (which usually I have been able to anticipate before he cries) and when he needs to be changed and sometimes if is skin is exposed, but he seems to be getting more used to this too.  We appear to have just entered his first cluster feeding growth spurt which is of course tiring for Mama for round the clock feedings, but if that's the only challenge that we have at this point, I'm a very happy mom :-)

Someone Says Hello!

Our little Peanut has finally arrived and has completely taken over our hearts!  Peanut is a little boy!!!

I am very proud to introduce you to Cameron Alexander :-)

Born on Friday the 13th (oh yes) weighing in at a VERY healthy and reasonable 7 lbs and 7 oz, 20.5 inches long, a very healthy baby boy :-)

I am still in the hospital and have only a minute to share this with you all, and promise to update you a bit more later on.  We hope to be going home tomorrow, but have to wait and see.

How very often I have dreamed
A world of perfect bliss
To be the mother of a boy
Or of a tiny miss

To hold its tiny hands in mine
To count its tiny toes
And then to place a tiny kiss
Upon its tiny nose

To hold it very close to me
Warm against my breast
To gaze into its tiny face
Sleeping and at rest

Oh, what could be more perfect

Or what could hold more bliss

Than to be a mother of a boy

Or of a tiny miss 

                                                        

Poem By: Unknown

 

~A

xoxo

Operation Peanut Arrival

*knock knock knock*

"I know you're in there, so do you think it's time to come out and meet us yet? Pleeeease?"

In all seriousness, I'm not as impatient being 5 days overdue as appears is everyone else!  I am of course excited and anxious (understatements) to meet our little daughter or son (it sounds so strange to refer to the fact of having a son or a daughter!), but all we can do is wait for s/he to make his/her grand entrance.

Yesterday I followed up with my doctor (per shenanigans of Thursday) and everything is great and little peanut was beating away at a healthy 145.  I am scheduled now to be seen in "post dates" at the IWK on Thursday, along with a follow up ultrasound just to have another check in.  So since we are now into the "post dates" course of progression, I decided to go ahead with the membrane sweep at my doctors appointment yesterday.  I figured it was one step I could take more on the "natural" side of encouraging things to move along before any other options are presented when seen by the other doctors in "post dates."  My doctor explained that there is evidence to show that it can be effective, but only if your baby and your body is ready, so I decided to go ahead.  All in all, it wasn't as bad as I anticipated and managed just fine.

It was a beautiful day in Halifax and the doctor encouraged lots of walking and activity so I figured I would take advantage of being downtown with no schedule, appointments or place to be, no baby to tend to (that will soon be my life :-D), so I met a friend downtown and we walked down to the water front to check out The Buskers and enjoy the day.  Neither of us really ever has much opportunity to just spent "time" downtown and explore, so it was a great opportunity!  In retrospect, I should have taken wayyy more pictures, but there was one photo op that we stumbled across on Spring Garden Road that I knew would be fun to share on the blog.

We walked by this tree that had a knitted quilt wrapped around it with lots of notes clipped with clothespins:

All of the notes appeared to be positive notes of advice and quotes (I wish I had of photographed a few of them - doh!), but of course you will probably guess the first thing that came to my mind was to join in and share in the positivity a la Operation Beautiful:

I didn't notice any "Operation Beautiful" notes on there specifically, but nearly every single one of them fit the bill and I thought it was really neat that we had a similar movement, likely unrelated to OB randomly along the public busy street of Spring Garden Road.  There didn't appear to be any instructions or explanation with the tree, but I think the idea spoke for itself.  If anyone knows anything further about the tree, I would be very interested, so please share!

My camera pretty much stayed in my bag for the rest of the day, but Jacki and I enjoyed a lunch down at the Hart and Thistle sitting outside along the harbour front, sat on a small patch of grass to join a friend who is a nanny and who had many little kids on tow to see the Buskers, perused the boardwalk, decided we'd try the "freak show" trailor for a little "maybe a little spooky fun will bring on labour" idea (verdict = totally lame and not at all worth the $7.50 and was like a sauna in there), got a freshly squeezed lemonade that I always get when The Buskers are in town, watched Bendy Em contort herself into a 16" cube (Oh.Em.Gee is all I have to say!) - I snapped a BB pic while she was putting her stuff away and here she is and yes, she does fit into this little box and she is an incredibly fit and muscular:

Noticed a submarine cruising by in the harbour and snapped a BB pic too:

I really should have had my real camera out all day!

Then we figured I had probably had about enough being out downtown because I still had to WALK back up from the waterfront back up to Spring Garden where we were parked!  Anyone familiar with Halifax knows that the downtown is one big hill.  Sure it might not phase the average person, but when you're 40+ weeks preggers, it's a BIG deal!  But I figured it would only "help" our little overdue "situation" so off we went and we chugged all the way up!  I had to sit on the benches outside of the public library for a bit, but I was only slightly worse for wear. 

I had continuous cramps the entire day from the sweep, but nothing I couldn't handle, and walking all day added some pretty major back pains, so by the time we got back up to Spring Garden and stopped at Starbucks for a shaken passion tea lemonade (sooo good on a hot day!), I did have what I suspected to be a contraction or the beginnings of one while standing in line.  It was more like 3 consecutive sharp pains shooting up from my lower abdomen where I was cramping and it made me stop and listen really quick!  For a while I thought "Yay! My fun day of activity was working!" We went up to the husband's office which is nearby and sat for a bit before heading home for the day.  I was feeling completely spent and achy and tired and sore, so when I got home, I got into a bath for a long while and it helped a lot.  I was completely tired and ready for a good night's sleep.

I had a decent night's sleep (this is of course a relative term adopted when you are pregnant and realize you will never sleep the same way you did "before" again!), and today I feel a bit sore and still a bit tired, so I'm going to just relax at home.  We do have friends who are in town with their new baby as well, so if I'm still on labour standby, we're going to join them out for supper.  I'm thinking something spicy? :-)

Peanut Shinanigans

What else is an anxious expectant mom to do at 5 a.m. other than blog?  Still no sign of baby yet, but s/he definitely decided to cause a stir for us.

I went for my routine 40 week appointment with my doctor on Thursday.  I was pleased that she felt the same way as I did on membrane sweep discussion I had with the other doctors I saw while she was on vacation.  She didn't think there was a rush.  It felt reassuring that my instincts were in line with my care giver.  All started out as normal in the appointment until things turned a bit awry.  My doctor got a heart rate reading of 110 which is concerning, so she sent me over to the early labour assessment unit for a non-stress test in which peanut decided to have some fun and startle us all a bit more.  All was fine for a while as I lie there hooked to the monitors, then for whatever reason the heart rate dropped in the 90's for long enough to have the nurses and doctor come busting in the room to get me up, turned on all fours and given an oxygen mask.  The husband and I had no idea what was happening because it was all happening so fast.  I felt fine the entire time. 

The heart rate returned to normal and they decided quickly to admit me for further monitoring in the labour & delivery unit in different positions and since we weren't able to replicate it again, it seemed that peanut was only playing games and seemed to be otherwise fine. BIG HUGE RELIEF!  Although I have to say, in my heart I truly felt that everything was fine and I was just waiting for them to conclude that for themselves.  Call it mother's intuition or call it denial - who knows!  It was quite intense because while it was technically my due date that day, it started off as only a routine doctor's appointment and all of a sudden I'm admitted into L&D with no hospital bags and not allowed to eat just "in case."  To err on the side of caution, I was sent for a further fetal assessment ultrasound to check on fluid etc.  Baby was squirming around like a champ and hit all 8 points :-)  The day ended well, but it was definitely intense and I felt like I was just an observer waiting to hear what they would say next.  Better to play it on the safe side for sure.  Since all seemed fine and I wasn't showing any signs of labour, I was sent home.

In other good news, as of Thursday, I was 1 cm and 50% effaced which is definitely good!  I will see my doctor again tomorrow for a precautionary follow up to see how we're doing, but other than that, I'm following along in the general "post dates assessment" routine which will be assessed as we go along.  The sonographer at the fetal assessment unit booked me in for another ultrasound for Thursday if no baby has arrived just to keep tabs on the little one.  She was very very nice.  Since I was there anyway, I casually asked her if she was able to determine the size of the baby easily.  The purpose of the ultrasound was to determine adequate fluid etc., but she did a few measurements to give us a general "unofficial" idea of where things stood from that perspective.  You may remember from my earlier post that the doctors have commented that they didn't expect my baby to be "small" and felt that at 39 weeks was already in the 8.5 pound range.  The sonographer got a general rough estimate that baby was measuring at only 7 lbs which is quite a deviation from the doctor's estimation, but perfectly fine with me!  She of course explained that it was not considered to be "accurate" and could be off +/- a pound.  In fact, she felt that the doctor's estimate of feeling my belly might be closer.  So it will be interesting to see!

So here we are on day 3 post due date!  I'm generally feeling really well and not at all like I had expected to feel at this stage.  Everyone assumes that I must be miserable, but in all honesty, I think I've felt better these last few weeks than I have all third trimester so that is good!  My energy has been on the up side since I started maternity leave and a short 30 min nap seems to rejuvenate me in a big way, if I need it.  Sleeping is also better than it has been.  Okay, well yes it's 5 a.m. and I'm wide awake and blogging, but I think not needing to be up and working has made a big difference in my energy levels.

Lucy update:  the citronella spray collar is working WONDERS!!  The collar isn't perfect because it was set off a few times when it wasn't supposed to which was not good and can defeat the purpose, BUT given that it worked on several occasions at the right time, it snapped her out of her barking fits immediately keeping her in a calm, submissive and unanxious state at ALL times.  It did not take long to teach her not to loser her mind barking at all.  She has been so relaxed and 100% adorable ever since causing us no problems at all.  We've had visitors that she didn't know and pizza delivered, not to mention general passersby and she's a different dog who only barks once and stops.

In fact, we keep the collar on her, but turned off during the day time and only turn it on when we're taking her outside (where she would more likely be triggered) and if we saw someone walking down the road, we would turn it on just "in case."  There hasn't been as many people walking by it seems, but I think it's just that we're not noticing because she doesn't lose her mind!  I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to see this change in her with the baby coming home at any time now and it literally took effect immediately and has only been a few days.  I just hope that it's not a temporary fix like the Guardian sonic anti-bark device was.


Now that I've blogged all of this off my chest, I'm getting sleepy again and will try to go back to bed for some more rest before it gets too light out. :-)

Some of you are still in the running for the birth date points too I see!

Eeeeek!!! Jusssayinnn'--------->

I see my doctor today and we'll see where we stand!

There's something funky going on with the ticker, but you get the idea!

Big Sister Lucy

We Love our little Lucy in a bug HUGE way. But...yes there is a "but."  While she is, in my opinion, amongst the cutest dogs ever (I know all moms feel that way about their 'kids'), I have shared with you all on several occasions that we have struggled with her barking at passersby and her finicky behaviour around strangers and other dogs and toddler and children her size [major concern to me].  I don't actually believe she is a "danger" to anyone at all and don't believe she will bite.  She's more of just a big mouth on a little dog that is scary sounding (especially to little ones), but you can never ever 100% trust a dog around children no matter the dog - ever.  She's a "licker" who wants to lick your face which most people don't like happening to their babies either.  So really she can't "win" because she gets scolded for barking at kids and gets pulled away for licking & jumping up on them too :-/

Much of her problem stems from the fact that she is, in fact, a rescue dog that we adopted from the animal rescue shelter and her story was that she was abandoned and was found running around all alone as a puppy in the cold of the Winter on Christmas Day. (I know!! So Sad!)  We found her online on their web site and drove 3 hours to Yarmouth knowing that we would love to take her into our home.  She was still a puppy!  By that point it was nearing the end of February, so she would have spent 2 months at the shelter.  The reality of animal shelters is that in many cases, it's impossible to socialize dogs the way you would like to and it's not like a dog day care or at a park, simply because, it's not realistic when you have many different types of dogs who, in some cases have been abused and often they are struggling to simply accommodate the number of animals. 

So, it is easy to understand given that our Lucy, as cute as she is, spent 2 months at the shelter, and we're sure she was spending much of her time her little "cell" where we first greeted her all by herself with a row if dogs all in their own spaces.  The vet estimated that she was about 5 months old at that point and while she was still a young little pup who needed to be house broken, it appeared that she had missed out on some very important months of socialization in her development.  We also keep in mind that no one has any background on her life before she was rescued.  Like, who abandons a puppy in the cold of Winter outside? TAKE THE ANIMAL TO THE SHELTER IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM! Gah!

Previously we had tried the Guardian Ultrasonic anti-bark device that emits a high pitched sound that only she can hear in response to her barking.  It startled her and worked, but only temporarily!  It has no affect on her now and if anything it will make her bark louder and more escalated.

I've tried running her ragged and tiring her out:

This is another big component that doesn't happen often enough and being on maternity leave and anxious to get outside and walk with the baby, this little lady is going to be getting MUCH more in the exercise department which is always a good thing for dogs!  But she is VERY difficult to control when you come across other walkers, runners, bikers and dogs.  It's hard enough not having a stroller in tow.

She is an extremely affectionate and loving family dog, but despite our attempts, we have never been able to rehabilitate her reaction to people walking by (especially with dogs) and an incredibly embarrassing situation in public if we take her to an animal park. 

You can't fault a dog for being a dog.  You can only try to work with her to correct her bahaviour.  We have made some progress and if I break her away from her "episodes" barking at the passersby and remove her from the situation, I can break her unstable mindset and have her submit, but I have never been able to prevent her from being set off in the first place.

Now that the baby is due to arrive, well technically TOMORROW (:-D), we've bought her a new anti-bark gimmick that we are now giving a try.  It's a citronella bark collar made by Innotek and it is basically a little box on a collar that has a microphone and a little spray nozzle.  It detects when she barks and sprays a citronella spray in front of her snout in response.  It's basically the same lemon scented stuff that is used to keep the flies away and is not toxic.  I swear as soon as I took the device out of the package, she knew something was up and started in on her cutsie poutie face.  But I'm TOUGH, or at least I'm trying to be and something's got to give, so on it went because this mamma means business!

Well so far the thing has gone off 5 times and only two of those times was in response to her barking!  I don't like that at all!  We were very pleased with its effectiveness when it was responding to her actual barking.  She was out on the front step and when someone was walking by with a dog, she started to dart toward them and bark only to be sprayed and she ran into the house to take cover! lol  That is exactly what we want.  But it has gone off 3 separate times for no apparent reason which I DON'T like because she shouldn't be getting the negative response randomly when she's not doing anything wrong.  We paid $70 for this thing and the pet store told me that they would only accept a return if it was in a "re-sellable" condition.  But that was when I was asking if I could take it back if it "didn't work with our dog" and not if it was defectively spraying her for no reason.  There is an on-off switch and so I have it turned off during this quiet time of the day, but the problem is that you never know when someone is going to walk by to trigger her barking.  It would be nice if the microphone had an adjustable sensitivity guage.  I'm going to give it a bit more time to see if it still works to keep her quiet, but I really REALLY don't like that it sprays her when she's not doing anything wrong!

She has been all subdued and quiet ever since we put it on her which I "guess" is what the point is, but I also don't want her to just lay there like a doll either!  For now I will have to be happy with that because  I keep telling myself not to feel guilty over a little lemon spray and that she will get used to it, but jeeez talk about tugging at my heart strings.  But I really have no choice.  She simply cannot be going off like she does with a baby in the house.  I can see it already and this mama is NOT going to be happy when the baby (or me) gets woken up by her random episodes!

*it's only lemon*it's only lemon*it's only lemon*