The class started off having everyone introduce themselves and tell the class how you were feeling about "the big day" and when the big day was expected to be. My response was "depends on the day!" which is totally how I'm feeling these days. Some days it's nothing but excitement and pure joy about meeting our baby and what it's going to be like to hold him/her in my own arms for the first time. Gah! I get teary just thinking about that part. Other days a little bit of anxiety and panic starts to hit home because well, the "big day(s)" is just that, right?
We referred to the resource book that was given out at the first class and the public health nurse started from the beginning addressing the signs and differences of the different stages of labour and how to determine whether it is in fact labour at all. We went over the "possible" labour symptoms, early labour, active labour, transition and delivery. She did a wonderful job going through all aspects of what to expect at each stage. Because the average "first baby" labour tends to be in the area of 15-16 hours, she broke down that norm into how many hours to expect to be in each stage pointing out that the hardest part (transition and delivery) tend to also be the shortest! God bless her soul ;-) So I hope I can keep that in mind when my time comes!
Along with all of the things to expect at each stage, the next obvious topic was all of the different techniques you can use to cope with the pains of labour. There are many. Some of the options I can recall being mentioned were:
- Water (a big favourite - baths, showers etc. considered to be "nature's epidural")
- Breathing (we practiced techniques too)
- Lots of movement (keeps labour progressing along)
- Distraction
- Music
- Meditation (hypnobirthing)
- Massage & counter pressure
- Changing positions
- Birthing ball
- TENS machines (which you have to rent on your own, but I happen to own one)
- Nitrous Oxide gas
- Drugs (epidural, narcotics)
It was obvious to me before it was brought up that the nurse was painting a picture to the group that guess what? There are all kinds of other things you can do other than an epidural or in conjunction with, or in advance of having one and was encouraging consideration of all of the other options. I was extremely happy that she was approaching it in this way because I'll be honest about how I feel here. I have never been through labour and delivery before and while I am a bit, okay ALOT apprehensive about the pain associated with it, I haven't made up my mind for certain whether I will have one or not. I just don't understand how people can just "decide" without truly looking at what the possible consequences are to making that choice. I am just saying that I don't think it is a decision to be taken lightly or for granted.
I keep reminding myself that birth a normal part of life and I shouldn't be afraid of it so I'm trying not to be. I am keeping an open mind because if there's any real consistent advice I've been getting from people who have been through it, is that anything can happen and holding a birth plan too strongly can sometimes lead to disappointment if it doesn't play out as you had imagined it would. I personally believe that it's nearly impossible to script an experience that is first and foremost dictated my mother nature so I'm just going along for the ride and going to try to trust my instincts.
The nurse shared some rather surprising statistics with us about birthing at our hospital. For starters, the epidural rate is 90%!! 9 out of every 10 women have epidurals giving birth at IWK. This would explain why almost everyone I speak to tells me, "Oh just get the epidural and don't worry about it. Why put yourself through the pain? I had one and everything was fine." An interesting comment she made was that because so many women were birthing with epidurals, it consequently has an affect on the labour assistance skills of the nurses as well. If they aren't using those skills to assist labouring women, they can lose those skills eventually. Interesting.
So far there is only one friend who I spoke to who gave birth there who "made it through" with no epidural although she said there was a time near the end where she had some nitrous oxide. She herself, is a nurse and overall really pleased with her experience without an epidural.
The other statistic she shared with us is that the c-section rate is 35%! That is pretty high when you think about it. That's about 1 in every 3 women! She had no explanation for the statistics being what they are as there really isn't anything in particular that can explain for certain, but our hospital is a teaching hospital and since it is the only women's and children's hospital in the Maritimes (I believe), many high risk pregnancies and births take place there, so it would most definitely contribute or explain part of it.
I will be honest and also say that if my baby's birth ends up leading to a c-section because of whatever circumstances, while I will understand that it's a necessary decision, I will still be disappointed. The reason is because I fear that I won't be able to hold my baby immediately after s/he is born. That is really important to me. It's all I think about when I envision the day our baby is born and it's all I've imagined from the beginning. Even if with a c-section, it's within 30 minutes of birth, it will make my heart ache to have my baby handed to me all bundled up after the fact. Sometimes those things are out of your control and are for the best, but even still, it makes my heart ache.
The nurse made a point that stuck with me and actually made things really clear as to why I am feeling reluctant to decide to get an epidural. She said, "Once you get an epidural, you are essentially giving up control over your labour." She said that the likelihood of further medical interventions does then increase for whatever reason, whether it be that your labour slows down (most likely because you can no longer move around as you could before), which can then lead to the doctors needing to administer Pitocin (a synthetic hormone of oxytocin that brings on labour) to keep it progressing or later requiring the use of forceps or a vacuum to assist or augment delivery, the statistics are that those kinds of interventions do go UP when an epidural is administered. You may also need more guidance from them during the actual delivery, depending on what sensations you can feel or are unable to feel. These have all become a "normal" part of childbirth nowadays.
I trust doctors and I trust science, but I also trust my instincts too.
We watched a few videos which included a natural childbirth, administration of an epidural and a c-section. I fully admit that I was really ambivalent about watching the actual "birth" taking place on video, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought it would be (or remembered from Grade 12 Biology class!) and very minimal on the "messy" stuff. It's funny because I was really surprised at myself for shying away from actually wanting to watch it, but I just didn't really want to. Probably because it's not really all that settling to watch even if it IS natural and normal and a miracle and all that. Knowing that's going to happen to ME is not all lollipops and gummy bears! Regardless of if I watch it or not, it is an inevitable part of the amazing thing that is happening to me and our family and I still feel truly blessed to have the opportunity regardless of however many hours of unpleasant labour are involved.
Yes I know, cheesy, cheesy, but that's just how it is in the wonderful world of hormones :-)
Next up is hospital tour and pre-administration which is coming up in a few weeks. Time is starting to narrow in on the main event here bloggies! Eeeeeek!
What was your experience with child birth? Loaded question I know! Did you have an epidural? Were you happy with your decision? Did you have a c-section? How was your post-pardom recovery?
20 comments:
I have been waiting for you to ask this question. My last 3 children were born at the IWK with only using laughing gas. I am scared of needles and handled the pain very well by breathing and using the gas. Mind you it takes me between 5-6 hours to go from start to finish and have that beautiful baby in my arms.
I knew for all my 4 kids that I would not have an epidural as I wanted it to be natural.
With my last one I sat on a ball and found that really helped. The after pains were worse them the labor with her!!
I LOVED being pregnant and delivering my babies! The most amazing moments in my life!!
My experience is slightly different (for my first anyway) as it was a twin pregnancy. I was induced at 35wks due to pregnancy induced hypertension (had been on bedrest for 8 weeks prior).
I did get the epidural, as holy hell I was in pain. And nothing was working. Not walking, massage, shower, breathing. Not a damn thing. Loved the epidural.
And then after 23hrs of labour had to have a c-section due to Twin A's heartrate increasing. It was a sign of stress. So because I had the epi I was able to have it "topped up". I wanted my husband to be the one to hold the babies as I figured that I had carried them for 8 months (and felt their first movements etc.) He should get to experience a first. Turns out I didn't get to hold Jack (twin A) for 3 days due to his issues (NCIU). That didn't stop me from getting to touch him though.
Needles scare the crap out of me too. But after one epidural and 2 spinals. Not so much anymore.
Best piece of advice I got from my pre-natal course. Was to have a birth plan, but be prepared for it all to got to hell. And the reality is that the outcome you want is a healthy baby and Mom.
My first child was born at the IWK and we were induced due to high blood pressure four days before my due date. I had both ARM and pitocin and my labour was 6 hours from the beginning of the induction to her birth. I had no pain meds except for a few inhalations of nitrous oxide right before I was pushing. The only issue with no epidural was they began my stitches (and manually removed the placenta with arms in right up to the elbows...) with no numbing because it didn't occur to them that I hadn't had an epidural. They appologised profusely when I raised the fact that the stitches were very uncomfortable and then immediately gave me a numbing shot. They also would have been more "gentle" with the placental situation if they had remembered I wasn't numbed from an epidural. I had a midwife with me, but this was before they were allowed to deliver in hospital so she was more of a coach/support/advocate. Still wonderful though and my nurse was lovely.
After the birth they whisked her away before I could hold her to check her over (not usual practise I gather at the IWK) and gave her to me all bundled up (which we promptly removed for skin to skin contact). We established breastfeeding right away and to be honest I found the breastfeeding help from the nurses upstairs not too useful but my midwife helped everything run smoothly! My biggest issue with the hospital (apart from the forgetting I wasn't numb waist down...) was that they woke us up at 3:00 am to do paperwork and to supposedly give her bath (which we refused despite odd looks because it is beneficial for the vernix to be absorbed by the baby's skin and for scent association with nursing etc.). We were disturbed a lot that night and left first thing in the morning as soon as we could make a break for it. Our midwife came to our home 24 and 48 hours after our discharge and again a few days later, and again a few days after that!
My second daughter was born at home two years later with the assitance of my two lovely midwives (still weren't legislated in NS though so it cost us out of pocket again) and my husband. It was the most amazing experience from start to finish. Again no pain meds and no interventions whatsoever were needed. I can't even begin to describe how different it felt to my first (mainly positive) hospital experience. When my daughter was born she went right onto my chest and stayed there until I went and had a shower an hour or so later. She wasn't moved from me until I was ready and she had nursed to her hearts content. While I showered in my own bathroom the midwives cleaned up the bedroom, had fresh clean sheets on the bed and made us tea. Then we weighed and measured my daughter and we were all tucked in to sleep peacefully that night(she was born at 9:00pm). Around noon the next day the midwife came back to check on us and chat then returned the next day and every few days for the next two weeks.
I am now almost 17 weeks pregnant with our third child who will be born 1 year and 10 months after our most recent daughter. This time we are using midwives for, hopefully, a home birth covered by NS healthcare. Our main midwife is the same main one we had for our homebirth last time which makes us very happy. This time I only have to be followed by the IWK midwives as opposed to an OB and the midwives last two times. Also, if we have a hospital birth due to any unforseen risk increases or complications our midwife is able to deliever at the IWK. We are very excited.
I know I gave you more than you asked (oh so long with so many unnecessary parentheses) for but I would love more people to know about midwifery in NS as well as sharing my IWK experience.
I hope you have the birth experience of your dreams. And if not, you will be a member of a big club of women who didn't have the birth go exactly as they planned but still love being Moms.
Angie just keep an open mind to everything and you will do just fine (this is what I have found from working as a nurse in labour and delivery for almost 9 years).
don't let anyone push you, it is your body and your experience and you be an advocate for yourself and what you want.
The most important tool in the whole birthing process is knowledge. The more informed you are about the process at the hospital, what to expect, your options for pain management, etc the better equipped you will be when the time comes to make decisions for you and your baby. The reality is that you have absolutely no way of knowing how your body will react to the labour and delivery process and all you can do is roll with the punches when the time comes. You literally are reevaluating your decisions nearly every minute. What works for some may not work for others and until you are in that position and experience the stages of labour you really have no idea how you will ultimately cope. While some have the best intentions of doing it all naturally they end up with epidurals. There's nothing wrong with that. Labour and delivery are so individual and so deeply personal that noone can predict what will actually take place when it is all said and done. Knowing that you have options and have caring individuals to assist you and encourage you is paramount. You will do fine and look back on the experience as one of the most amazing things that has ever happened in your life. It truly is amazing what the female body is capable of doing. Hugs.
Hey Angie, I haven't posted a comment in a reeeeeeallly long time (think BLBE #1) but I'll chime in on this.
I've had two deliveries without an epidural in Charlottetown and had completely different experiences, both of them wonderful in their own way. I would definitely encourage you to set that as a goal if it's something important to you.
I also wanted to comment because holding my girls right after they were born was really important to me. But even with a fairly uncomplicated delivery of my first daughter she had breathing difficulties and after a quick snuggle in the delivery room she was whisked off to neonatal and I didn't get to hold her for another four hours.
In the end I think the most important advice is to know what you want but have some flexibility as well because truly you never know what has happened.
Oh and if you ever want to ask specific questions or chat about delivery w/o epidurals feel free to shoot me an email.
leighanne1941 at yahoo dot com
I'm a regular reader, but not a commenter - sorry - but I wanted to share with you. I wanted the full experience with my son and went all natural. Labor was long and there were complications - but I passed the "window" where an epidural could be administered. It was difficult and something I'll never forget. I opted for the epidural for my daughter and it was completely different. Very relaxed and much easier.
I know that I'm glad I've had the opportunity for both. Looking back, the epidural was so much easier - but I wouldn't have known that without first experiencing a natural birth.
Do a thorough job researching both options and know that the ultimate decision is YOURS. Go in with a plan that you want to follow, but know that sometimes plans will change. If anything, just be flexible and you will do JUST FINE! Good luck - you'll be a wonderful, caring mother.
I think I'm learning more from your post than my own experience (4 kids). I had an epidural with all 4. 3 of them had to be induced with pitocin at 41 weeks. My body just doesn't want to give them up.
My first was natural labor and 24 hours of on/off contractions. They hurt, but with breathing - I think it could have been better. My epi was a total block and I felt nothing. I pushed for 1 hour and gave birth to a 10pound, 11 ounce daughter. I tore from hole to hole. She was beautiful and worth every stitch.
My other three, I think the contractions from the pitocin hurt the most. I actually felt a lot of the birth with them. An epidural is to take some of the pain away. I admit, I was scared as hell to feel pain and my body knew it. My blood pressure dropped to 80/40 while waiting for the contractions to kick in and my labor would stall as I worried about feeling so much pain. It's a very personal experience and everyone I talk to likes whether or not they choose an epidural.
My 2nd kid was with an epidural, but he dropped so fast that I felt an immense amount of pressure (like needing to poop). I had Marc call the doctor and he was crowing already. 3 pushes and I was done. I didn't feel pain, but a lot of pressure and a lot of me saying "holy hell, get him out!".
I have a mantra, "millions of women have done this and they survived. I can do this". Good Luck. You will do great!!!
Thank you all for sharing! I love love LOVE hearing about your experiences. Hearing different perspectives is wonderful.
One thing for certain is that everyone's experiences are individual and personal and I appreciate hearing your stories :-)
90% have epidurals??? Unbelievable!!!
I have had 3 children, luckily all naturally, no c-sections. I did not have an epidural with any of them. I did use Nitrous oxide for all 3. I loved that I had control during each contraction whether or not I wanted it, it was instant relief, but not to the point of making me numb. I used only during contractions towards the end of each labour.
Yes, labour hurts, but once you see that baby, it is all worth it, and within days, the pain is forgotten and you remember all the good parts.
I have no experience to share, but I wanted to say that I think you are being smart to understand your options but keep an open mind. A plan is good, but you never know what's going to happen so you may have to adapt to the situation. Best of luck to you!
I had both my boys with no meds save for a bit of pitocin to induce my first (didn't take much to get things going).
It was really important to me to deliver naturally, I think that your mindset really determines how you respond to the pain. My thinking was that it was a natural process, women have been doing it for ages, it is not a disease to be treated etc. Everyone is different of course, these are just my personal opinions.
I also experienced extremely painful menstrual periods for more than a decade before having my kids (we're talking hours in bed with a heating pad, usually vomiting at some point). I found labor to be very similar, but actually easier, because it only lasts a minute or two and then you get a break. Deep breathing and relaxing through the pain really helps, I use these techniques even now when I have pain.
With such a high rate of epidurals, you should expect some sort of pressure from the nursing staff to have one, since it is routine for them. If it's important for you to go without if possible, make your wishes known at the early stages, and be prepared to reiterate them at shift change. Enlist your hubby to be your advocate, make sure he is on board with your wishes.
When I took a breastfeeding class prior to kid#2, they showed us a video of newborns(one whose mother was medicated, one who was not) placed on the mother's chest after birth. The unmedicated baby was actually able to work it's way unassisted up to the breast! The medicated baby just kind of flopped around. Absolutely amazing.
I was in labour for over 12 hours, most of which was just fine. At one point though, the pain got bad and I started to panic. That definitely made it worse and I was glad to be given drugs at that time to help. It was smooth sailing after that and I was able to breath through it when those drugs later wore off.
Whatever you choose, my advice is to mentally prepare and practice diversion techniques, such as breathing and meditation. The pain is temporary and your baby is definitely worth it.
Please remember though that whenever you get to hold your baby it will be amazing, even if it's not right away. It does not delay the bonding process. It is heart breaking when a complication comes up and you don't get your baby until later, but it makes that moment even more amazing.
xoxo - you'll do great!
I went the natural child birth route without really giving it much thought. I felt the onset of labour around 5:30am and it felt like a little butterfly in my lower belly. The butterfly came again about 20 minutes later. I went and had a bath and by about 8:30am my contractions were ten minutes apart. They didn't really feel like much at that point in time but I knew I was in labour. I checked into the hospital at about 10:00am and the contractions had progressed pretty normally. By 12:30pm I thought I was in full labour and was kind of happy that it wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be. But then they broke my water and I learned the real meaning of pain. I dilated really quickly after that and I started pushing at about 1:45. Paige was born at 4:26. Yes, you read that right. They gave me the gas once and it made me feel all loopy and out of it and I really wanted to be in the moment so I refused it for the rest of the afternoon. No epidural, no episiotomy, no drugs. Lots of stitches which I didn't feel at all.
I wouldn't trade the experience for the world.
I had pictocin to get the contractions going and it was painful,no getting around that! My daughter was born with no epidural and as uncomfortable as it was, it made recovery so much easier.
Whatever happens, it is the end result that matters:)
I saw your worries about not being able to hold your baby right after birth if you have to have a c-section. My first two were attempted vaginal deliveries that resulted in c-sections and my 3rd was a planned c-section. I was able to hold each baby in the operating room while they were closing me up and then they were still in my arms as we were transported back to our room.
I haven't finished reading yet but I had a million things I wanted to say!
1. I also wanted to hold my baby right after in the "birth plan" but when the time came, I was so out of it and happy it was over (really long and hard labour) that I really didn't even notice they put him on my chest. I'm not sure why, but I had a hard time connecting with my baby at first. Even when he was inside still, it never felt like a baby, just this cool pet or something.
2. The link between epidurals and pitocin - is it that epidurals lead to pitocin? Because it definately goes the other way too!
3. There's a side effect to the epidural that nobody told me about, not that it's a deal breaker, but you get MAJOR water retention afterwards (epidural and IV fluids). My feet looked like flintstone feet for 2 weeks after and HURT. I had probably 20 lbs of fluid (leaving the hospital heavier than coming!)
4. I didn't want an epidural, but ended up getting one. (maybe I'll blog my birth experience finally, there's enough distance now I think!) I'm really glad I had no birth plan or expectations because it was nothing like I thought or hoped. I really think it was a result of being induced, and not going into labour naturally, but that's not really preventable at 11 days over due, but I really had a horrible experience and the bad experience lead me to have a bit of a strained mother relationship with my son at first. I definitely resented him and had quite bad baby blues for probably close to a month.
5. replying to some of the comments - I didn't get the whole "when you see your baby it's all worth it." It took me a month. and I still think if I remembered my labour more clearly i'm not sure I'd feel that way! Also I had an epidural and felt every single stitch and was screaming just as loud during those as the pushing...
6. I forgot, I didn't progress at all until I had my epidural. (I was 6 hours at 2 cm, then after the epidural I was fully dialated within 2 hours). My body needed to be able to relax to do what it needed to do.
7. My experience was pretty bad, but not all are! My girlfriend had a baby and she pushed twice and she was out. No stitches. (I was supremely jealous of course!)
Thank you all for sharing with me. Your experiences and stories are so valuable not only to me but to others reading too.
Randi, especially you because so many women feel "guilty" for feeling the way you did and it's way more common than most women think. I remember reading your post about that and it made me all weapy and I actually cried simply because you were so honest with how you felt and I knew that it was such a reality for many women (oh yeah and pregnancy hormones too!). I often worry about baby blues because I have been experiencing way more down days in the last few weeks than ever before and it's disheartening.
I don't know if it's just a coincidence or not, but I read your comment this morning and then my iPod randomly selected this podcast where "Faythe" on PregTASTIC responds to a question from the preggie podcasters about "what did you find surprised you the most in the first week after having your baby" and her answer was EXACTLY what you said right here about not "connecting" and even resenting the baby in the early stages. You can listen to it here, if you want. It's about 5 mins in and the first question they as and she's the first person to answer: http://tinyurl.com/32k6oaj
Everyone also says that if you are induced with pitocin, you pretty much "must" have an epidural because it is SO much worse.
I read a blog of a woman who did epidural the first time and then not the second and she actually really enjoyed the non-epidural experience.
My grandfatehr has delivered over 2000 babies and so I have asked him about this stuff many times. He said women who get epidurals get worn out - without the pain motivating, they just want to give up because they're tired but you really have to get that baby out!
I've also heard that some c-sections happen for the doctor's convenience - s/he is tired of waiting or whatever, so they just do one. Maybe that's related to the tired out mommies?
I've heard people who said things were not bad after a c-section, but when I had my appendix out (which is way smaller and doesn't involve cutting open an organ, just taking one out) the healing process was miserable. My first thought was, "I never want a c-sections.) That was only about a 3 inch long incision. I couldn't sit up by myself, standing up and sitting down were painful and it was just a nightmare for over a week.
Totally unrelated to all that, I have this thing in my head about it being a right of passage to experience the pain of child birth. My husband thinks that's crazy. We're not even pregnant and he wants me to have an epidural. He's too sad thinking of my being in that much pain.
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