Oh and I HAVE to shout out

a big whoppin' congratulations to Amy who's tying the knot today and is starting 2008 a married woman. She truly is such an amazing gal who relentlessly works her butt off at the gym when most people are still deep into dreamland every morning. What a beautiful bride she will be.

All the best to you today Amy, congratulations!!!!

Home at Last

We ended up getting home after 4 a.m. this morning. It was a longer night than expected. We had to get up early this morning too, so I am beat to a pulp. I came home from the airport with two extra bags.....under my eyes...lol....bad joke, but that goes to show how tired I am! I am struggling to keep my eyes from closing and I hope I don't miss new years!

Hope you all have a wonderful new years whatever your plans may be and I'll catch up when I can think straight!

Zzzzzzzzzz *Yawn*

It's 12:21 a.m. and I'm at Gate 3 and there is no plane attached. Flight is currently scheduled to leave at 12:55 a.m. and I'm losing faith.....

*yawn*

Okay as FH has now pointed out, there is in fact now a plane attached, but lady in the white sweater is blocking my view. It's amazing what things will amuse your mind when it's late at night at the airport.

Looks like we won't be crawling under the covers of our badly missed bed until at least 3:o0 a.m. considering we have to get our car from the park n' fly first.

Oh and a little FYI to any of you who are considering parking at the Halifax airport: The park n' fly is cheaper than the long term parking and they actually drive you right to the door and pick you up at the airport door and drive you back to your car! You don't have to worry about lugging your bags through the sloppy snow to some huge cold parking lot! Park n' fly is around $6/day methinks compared to about $12/day for the normal long term parking and it's practically like a valet!

Flight Delayed

Booooooooooooo!!!

Original departure was 8:30 and now is delayed until 12:30 a.m. Halifax is expecting lots of snow in the morning and it's headed here in St. John's later in the day, so I sure hope we manage to get out tonight.

It's gonna be a long night I'd say. Ah well, that's how it goes. It's only about an hour and a half flight, so we should make it home by 3 a.m. hopefully at the latest. I was hoping to hit the mall tomorrow morning to catch some boxing week sales that I missed out on, so we'll see what happens! Fingers crossed!

Packed and Ready

We got some more snow last night, but nothing too bad. Flight is on schedule. FIL seems to be doing well the past few days with only one really bad day, so that is promising and it helps our departure just a little bit. I try not to focus on this subject on my blog, and it's only because of our current circumstances that I can't help it. It has had a HUGE impact on my eating choices which I absolutely hate.

There is a dollar store nearby and FH and I are going to "dart up there" (as they say here in NL) later on so that I can pick up some calendar stickers for the new year. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to filling up that calendar with exercise stickers. It does sound pretty elementary doesn't it? But all of you who have done it have shown how much encouragement it actually gives and the sense of pride you can actually get from seeing all of those hard earned stickers. We may grow up and graduate out of elementary school, but some things never change! I'm still trying to figure out what my target is going to be for this because I want it to be something that will put me a little out of my comfort zone so that it truly is an accomplishment, yet realistic at the same time. I'll keep you updated on that.

There's only so much a person can take

I really really can't wait to get home. This has been such a difficult week. Just imagine being couped up in a room for a week with a refrigerator in eye's view and a family member who is fighting cancer where a point has come where he needs pallative care, but doesn't want to go. It's much worse than that, but I'll spare you. MIL's strength is to be admired.

Our flight for home leaves tomorrow evening. Apparently there is another snow storm headed this way, so we are crossing our fingers that all goes on schedule. I've been OP during the most difficult time of my life with that car accident, but there is no way I can stay OP while I'm here. That's the least of our worries, but it's also an added stress that I can't reason away. We know that it will only be a short while before we are back again and lucky for us, we are only an hour and twenty minute plane ride away.

A recent poll found that:

"71% of people who made resolutions said their first setback actually helped strengthen their dedication."

-Prevention (January 2008)

Totally Slept In

Until noon! We got hit with a snow storm overnight, so it was easy to not want to get out of bed. We just stayed in bed. And the best part about that is that since I slept through breakfast, my breakfast was at lunch time which gives me the added bonus of more points to allocate throughout the rest of the day. MIL has a few thinks cooking already: a ham, ribs, and turkey soup. She also made a salad of tomatoes, cucumber, radishes and lettuce etc., so I am not worried at all about supper which take some of the pressure off with staying OP today. No one's moving anywhere or visiting today, so it's just us, tons if food and the elephant in the room.

Post Xmas Belly Petrusion Update

So the "healthy" food and munchie options didn't last long here in this house and I seriously went waaaaaaaaaay overboard eating. And finally this evening, FH and I managed to get out of the house, just the two of us and made a quick trip to the grocery store where I stocked up for the next 3 days we still have left here in St. John's. I got strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, bananas, frozen veggies, BodyWise bread, oatmeal, splenda brown sugar and slivered almonds. MIL has yogurt already so I should be good to go. I can't quite express how overboard I actually went and my stomach is showing it big time. I'm actually quite embarrassed to do a WI this Monday. I've never not posted my WI (except for this week when I wasn't home to do it), but don't be surprised if my WI's are MIA for public viewing until I'm feeling more comfortable with where I am. And that's not to say that I'm ashamed of my weight, because I'm not. I'm only ashamed with my eating behaviour which is going to reflect itself on the scale.

I'm going to do the best I can for the next 3 days I'm here and my mealplan tomorrow is:

Breakfast
Oatmeal (2)
1/2 banana (1.5)
1 T slivered almonds (1)
Splenda brown sugar (1)
cinnamon (0)
1/3c skim milk (0.5)
coffee w milk, cinnamon (1)
7/22

Snack
1c grapes (1)
8/22

Lunch
1c berries (1)
Sammie:
2 Bodywise bread (1)
light mayo (1)
lean ham (1)
lettuce (0)
12/22

Supper
frozen veggies (0)
protein variety of some sort - depends on MIL (4)
spring mix salad (0)
dressing (1)
baked potato or rice (3)
20/22

2 points if I crack somewhere in there!

So that's my plan of attack for tomorrow. I should be okay. Except there are still so much christmas food and treats, the fridge is so full and ready to burst with them. I can't tell you how difficult this week has been on every single level.

I cannot wait to go home to my regular routine. It won't be long before we will have to come back to NL, as FIL will not be able to hold on much longer, but if I can take a positive lesson away from this experience is that even when it may not appear so on the surface, a person can still be fighting with all their might. Don't be fooled by what you see on the surface and don't be quick to judge.

Belly Petruding Over Pants

Holy frig, I AM STUFFED! We had our Christmas dinner ealier today and it's a good thing because I need the extra hours to digest! It was the traditional Newfoundland Jigs Dinner and it was delicious of course. I actually can feel my stomach petruding and that's not good. But there are no worries, I am prepared to be get all hard core again when we get home.

So who's with me? Who's all ready to get on the hard core wagon next week? Hmmm??? Who isn't quite feeling 100% on their game and wants to step it up and kick some serious arse and get where we're going already??? The wagon leaves on January 2 @ 8:30 a.m. sharp!

Even though I'm feeling quite miserable for having over eaten ALOT lately and the scale will not show me nice numbers when I get home, I have to say, I am quite excited and looking forward to getting fit, thin and healthy in the first quarter of 2008. Depending on what the surgeon says to me in March about my shoulder, I really want to get into weight training and full body fitness training. I'm a bit silly for imagining myself all hardcore fitness freak, but I'll get as hardcore as the injuries will allow.

Can't wait!

Love to you all

You all are such kind and wonderful people and it means a lot to feel your support in such a simple way through a blog comment. Thank you all so so much.

We've arrived safe and sound in St. John's and things are going well. Our visit has perked up his father quite a bit. He wanted nothing more than to see FH and I can't quite describe the look I see in his eyes for having us here. These are the times when you truly understand what Christmas is all about. No one is concerned with presents. There are some under the tree, purely a formality, but no one is concerned if they are there or not. We all sit around together while FIL rests on the couch, moves to the rocking chair and then back to the couch. He reads, chats and rests. He's not complaining, just happy that we are here. I was dreading coming here for fear of what we would be coming to, but I am now glad we are here.

In keeping with some sort of nutritional subject matter, MIL made sure to have fruit and veggie trays for snacking in addition to all of the regular Christmas junk. I didn't even think she'd think of such a thing with all she has on her mind. I can't say it deterred me from eating too many Quality Street chocolates, but my full tummy was not completely comprised of unhealthy foods, there was plenty of carrots, celery, broccoli, cauliflower and Light laughing cow cheese filling up the gap! It's strange that just having the healthy options around can help me feel a little bit more at ease. We left for the airport early yesterday in anticipation of long lines etc. and the place was soooo quiet and empty. We had supper at one of the little Maritime pubs and I was pleased to see that amongst the regular Maritime fare of fish and chips, wings, chicken fingers etc., but a completely healthy Halibut steak dinner grilled with steamed rice and mixed veggies. It was delicious. It's not often you can choose an option like that while travelling. Okay, I'll admit, we split a piece of pecan pie for dessert, but still! lol

We are getting ready to sit down for supper (moose roast of course) and I will sit down later and check in with your blogs. Thanks again all of you, you are angels in your own way.

Have a Merry Christmas :-)

I have tried these past few weeks not to feel sad about what we're facing this Christmas, but we leave for Newfoundland tomorrow and as the day gets nearer, I'm getting more and more choked up and sad. FH's father has been losing his battle with cancer quite rapidly these past few months. He has fought for 2 years. I spoke with his mother tonight and she told me that he is getting much worse and now has an oxygen tank at the house. They spent the day at the hospital yesterday trying to replenish him with some blood and vitamen IV. The doctor said that his liver has started to break down. He choses not to be admitted into the hospital and wants to stay at home.

I can't tell you how much I have overeaten these past 4 days. I'm quite positive there is a connection and I hate that more than anything because it makes me feel like even though I've lost all that weight and I am still SURE I won't ever gain it back, I haven't kicked the emotional eating issue. But I don't exactly understand it because I never had a problem the past 2 years, even with our car accident. Agggggggh!

Anyway, I debated whether or not even to post a sad, sorry for myself post like this one because I don't want to bring anyone else down who is reading this. It's Christmas time and everyone should be happy. That's why I didn't post yesterday, I"ll admit. But I guess I just needed to vent a little about how badly I feel. I can't of course let FH know because it's his family who is having to go through this and I am here for him and not the other way around. So thanks for checking in anyways guys.

Do you ever go back and read your old posts?

This is a quote from what I said January 29 2007:

"...Witness Ye This: Once I am fully recovered and able to work out at the gym again like a regular person, I will never ever again complain about it and just be thankful I can."

Nothing like a good ol' reality check from yourself! I'm still not fully recovered, but I have certainly come a long way since then. I am stating right now for you all that I am going to push myself really really hard physically to bring my fitness to a whole new level. I am now setting a date for a deadline. My birthday is April 1st and I have a WI on April 2. I am setting this as my deadline date to acheive my goal weight of 150 lbs. Not unreasonable. Especially since I spent half of 2007 whining. Screw that. When all is said and done when we get back from Newfoundland, I'm bringin' it!

Some people are afriad to set date deadlines, but the truth is, if you are just waiting for that "some day" to come, and you don't have a particular end point it just might not come and it gets dragged out forever. If you set a date, it's an actual event you can work towards. If I don't acheive it by the date set, at least I can be proud of the fact that I did everything in my power to make it happen and the rest was out of my hands and there's no disappointment in that. I am not afriad to fail because honestly there's no failure whatsoever in this journey no matter what - not even the past 5 months where I was just spinning my wheels. I've completely changed my vision of my healthy self and have worked hard to acheive where I even currently stand and no one can be disappointed in that can they?

April 2, 2007

Ultimate Foods For Ultimate Health

One of my new year's resolutions for 2008 is to further my fitness and nutrition education. I think I've learned a lot over the last few years, but there's sooo much information out there and it is something I'm really interested in. Even though I've had great success with weight loss and WILL reach my weight loss goal, I think it would be a mistake to sell myself short and stop learning. Why stop learning if I'm interested in it and I already consume my daily life with trying to be healthy?

I have been wanting to buy a new book on health and nutrition for a while now and wanted to make sure I have one to keep me occupied while we're in Newfoundland over Christmas that will also keep my mind in the right place while I'm there. So I browsed fairly quickly over my lunch hour at Coles and settled on "Ultimate Foods for Ultimate Health (and don't forget the chocolate!)" by Liz Pearson and Mairlyn Smith. I hadn't heard of it, but thought it might be a good starting point. It actually includes lots of great recipes etc. It's a sequel to the first book, "The Ultimate Healthy Eating Plan (that still leaves room for chocolate)" and another one, "When in Doubt Eat Broccoli (but don't forget the chococlate)."

I'm not looking for a new eating plan, just more information. I want to learn all the rage about Flax, Omega 3, soy etc and all I am currently learning are flashes here and there that it's "good" and I want to learn why etc.

So I'll let you all know what I think of what I'm reading as I go along! And if any of you loved or hated a book about fitness and nutrition, be sure to give me a heads up!

Not So Proud

of my mindless eating yesterday. I popped more chocolate truffles in my mouth than I care to remember. And a few too many handfulls of chips and dip. At least my body hates me for it, so it will make it easier to be better today and eat healthfully. There won't be an opportunity to go to the gym until Thursday, so I plan on having a great workout Thursday, Friday, and hopefully on Sunday morning. We don't fly out until Sunday evening, so depending on what madness that day brings us, I plan on getting up early and going first thing. I'll be in Newfoundland the entire next week, so there won't be another gym exercise until Jan. 4th it looks like!

So today's menu plan is:

Breakfast
coffee w blend & cinnamon (1)
oatmeal w cinnamon, splenda brown sugar, almonds, half small banana, splash of milk (4.5)
5.5/22

Lunch
Big spring mix salad (0)
Homemade balsamic vinaigrette (1)
2 light laughing cow cheese wedges (1)
honeycrisp apple (1)
8.5/22

Supper
haddock filet (4)
crust: egg creations, flour, parmesan cheese (1)
EVOO (1)
potatoes (3)
steamed green beans, asparagus (0)
becel (1)
18.5/22

Treats (3.5) - it has it's own meal category these days!
22/22

I'm a Nervous Wreck

Most of the flights in from TO were cancelled yesterday. My uncle was flying in from Edmonton and he was one of the lucky ones whose flights made it okay, with only a slight delay. BUT what's usually a 25 minute drive to the airport ended up being about an hour and 10 minutes in crazy snow storm gusting winds each way. My Dad did the driving which was good because I'd likely end up just pulling over to the side of the road and panic with my head in my hands. The windshield wipers sucked big time and he could barely see. B-R-U-T-A-L. By the time we got back and supper was ready, it was almost 9 PM. I'm still all wound up from it.

So then this morning it was really warm and all of the snow turned to slush and of course our driveway is over 300 ft long. Our vehicals needed ALOT of coaxing to get out of the driveway to say the least. We finally get both of our cars out and I'm on my way in and the road that connects to our is not paved (it's rediculous because of some town by-law that came into affect during the construction phase of that part of the subdivision) and it was nothing but a sheeeeeet of ice going up hill and there was an Ultramar oil truck off the road. I managed to get up it without much problem and made it into work. But they are saying now that the temperature is going to drop significantly and now all the wet slushy roads that are not already a sheet of ice are going to freeze. Now I'm terrified to drive home. I can actually feel my shoulder blades getting all knotty and sore. And of course tonight is my massage therapy appointment and the roads will likely be too bad.

Pfffffft!

WI Results = -1.2 lbs

This could have been better and is due to my hard work at the beginning of the week. Once Thursday hit, I was steady going and nutrition didn't stay up to par - especially the extra wine at FH's office xmas party. My meatballs were a hit though so I was happy about that.

So this week I have some houseguests, so as long as they are here, I won't be doing the gym. I have to work all day, so I can't very well take more time at the end of the day before getting home to them. So I'll do the best I can. But my uncle who is visiting is a Chef and has said something about me not having to cook the rest of the week which is great, but it also puts me in a higher point supper range. I'll do my best!

For $29.99...(this is a gross post, I'm warning ya right now!)

I lost the tip of my finger. Yes ewwwww I know, but it's true. I got sucked in by the free gift during a demonstration at Sears. It was that company makes those knives that are on the shopping channel that can cut hammer heads. I walked out of there with a new chefs knife, 2 other crazy knives, a paring knife, a set of steak knives and a "glamorizer kit" that has a little tool and a book to show you how to make cool Martha Stewart type things with fruits and vegetables. i.e. make a basket out of a melon, or a shark out of a cucumber all for $29.99. It was a great deal and I'm happy about that part....

So FH tells me (just one days notice) that I'm responsible for bringing a main dish for his office christmas party that is a pot luck. Yeah, thanks for telling me! I settle on making meatballs (oh and Les, thanks for the advice on the sauce because it was killer - bottle of chili sauce and a bottle of grape jelly melted together and I thickened it up a bit more with cornstarch - for any of you who want a tasty meatball sauce recipe. It's not low point, but awfully good and it doesn't get any easier!) Anywhoo...I'm in a bit of a rush to get them made because we have so much stuff to do and I decide that I'm a chef just like on TV and I start mincing my parsley and oooops....YUP no joke, I sliced the corner of my finger off! It took several hours to stop bleeding and there was debate about going to the hospital, but I've been there and done that before and they would have just made me wait for hours for the bleeding to stop on its own because you can't stitch a wound like that. So it's pretty gross and it makes it really hard to clean my house and do anything pretty much. It's taking me longer to type too...booooooo!

Anyway, this thing cuts hammer heads, so I was pretty lucky I say, I could have been a lot worse and I've learned a lesson not to pretend I'm Chef Ang!

Baan Thai Supper with the Girls

So we had a great time getting together for dinner as expected. We got to meet baby Joshua and got to meet Lesley as a new mom. She fits the role to a "T." Baby Josh is adorable and such a good baby. But that is a reflection that he has a great mom!

I had a very light day food wise because I wanted to try a few different things tonight at supper as I had never actually had Thai food before. So, in anticipation and with no Flex points left, for breakfast I had 1/4c pure pomegranate juice topped up with some carbonated soda water (YUM and very good for you BTW), some melba toast with some havarti garden vegetable cheese and a coffee with light cream and cinnamon (I am liking my coffee this way as of late without any sugar OR any splenda variety). For lunch I had a salad with swiss chard, romaine, carrot ribbons, red onion, cucumber, radiccio and a dressing made with 1 tsp EVOO, balsamic vinegar and dijon mustard and two wedges of light laughing cow cheese. And for a late afternoon snack I had a honeycrisp apple about an hour before supper and it really helped BIG time in holding back on my plate at supper time.

Baan Thai is very good and all of the staff and chefs are Thai. For appetizers, we shared the lettuce wraps (recommended by Sarah G) and they were excellent. It was basically sauteed pork and peppers and crispy noodles that you could stuff into the lettuce wraps and drizzle with hoisen sauce. Very very yummy. This appie wasn't really that bad of a choice really. With this one, you are in control how how much of what you put in the lettuce leaf. We also had Tasha's favourite which were the Thai Garden Rolls and these were basically tasty thai veggie stuffed springrolls that are not cooked so they are not drenched in oil and more nutritious. Here's a shot of the appies:

For the main course, Tasha and I had the same thing which was the Pad Thai with prawns which was fan-friggin-tastic. I absolutely loved it. I am a huge Thai food fan for sure! Here's a shot of the main course. Tasha was right and the portions are very big: (corrected per Tasha's hawk eyes)

And drumroll pleeeeeease......I didn't finish it (which is what I have the hardest time with) and ate only about half (okay a little more than half) and put it aside and packed 'er in:

So here's the gang together with little baby Josh:

And here are Tasha and I being practice moms as she says:

Tasha was afraid to break baby Josh....lol:

Great time girls and I can't wait to do it again in TO!

Subconscious Spillage?

Sorry so late guys, crazy day!

So here's something to think about:

I brought in an assortment of homemade Christmas cookies to the office yesterday. There were some leftover and I covered them up before I left yesterday in the container. This morning, I thought I would offer them a Christmas treat to a client so I uncovered the container and was trying to coordinate the tray and down they go on the floor. Most who know me would just laugh and say Nope, you're just a clutz and that's what you've always done! But I can't help but think my unconscious mind did the spilling because I woke up feeling great today about all of that exercise and didn't want to be tempted today with all of those goodies in my sight!

Imagine That!

You work harder on the exercise and the scale starts to cooperate with me more. Who would have thought! Like I said my main nutritional meals have been good and healthy this week, BUT (big BUT) I have consumed way more Christmas treats than I should have. So I thought the exercise would just balance it out. But today the scale is down 3 lbs from Monday. Lots of water retention being released I'm sure. And my pants are fitting more comfortably today too.

So that's very encouraging and I feel really good today. I'm actually disappointed that I have that dentist appointment today after work. I live just far enough away from my gym that's its just not logistically wise to be running back and forth. AND I seriously to have a ton of stuff to do at home too, so that's that. Hopefully I'll have the ambition to wake up tomorrow morning early to do the video since I won't be getting to the gym tomorrow either.

Tomorrow's Thai adventure: Tasha, Lesley, Ang M. and I are having are annual/ semi-annual/whenever Les comes home supper get together tomorrow night at Tasha's favourite Thai restaurant, Baan Thai. You may or maynot remember I posted when Les, Ang M. and I went to Sweet Basil in the summer time (sans Tasha because she was in TO kicking arse on Bay Street). We have a new addition to our get together this year which is Lesley's new baby Joshua and we are all dying to gush all over him. I am looking forward so much to the dinner AND trying authentic Thai food for the first time. Tasha said the portions are pretty big and thought it would be a good idea to go splits on a few different things which I think is an excellent idea. That way we can try a few things and not go overboard with the entire portion on the plate! We will be sure to take pictures and I'll post them for sure! Since Tasha will be leaving us once again in the summer to continue to kick some arse on Bay Street TO for a long maybe permanent time, and Les lives in Kingston, this could be one of our last get togethers all together for a long time. Although, it does make for a great excuse for us all to get together in TO!

Rockin' the Runnin'

I am doing great with my exercise this week. I had a hard workout today after work again and it felt great. Although I come home to a reminder that I have a dentist appointment tomorrow after work so there will be no gym. In fact, no gym Friday because of supper out with the girls, no gym on Saturday either because we are spending the day setting up FH's new office and his Christmas party is that night AND I have to get stuff ready for my uncle arriving on Sunday. And somewhere in there we still have to decorate the house and get our tree! Plus poor uncle will be travelling all day on Sunday and I promised him there'd be a great supper waiting for him when he arrives, so I got my work cut out for me!

So I'm feeling great about the exercise this week. I've stepped it up big time and so far not too much back lash injury-wise, so that is what's really got me feeling good. And what's even better is that Roxy and Sarah G. and I have started talks about getting together and going for runs and other fun exercise stuff. The idea of having friends to do physical activity with is so fun! I have to admit, the idea of actually "going for a run" outside (especially with the icy sidewalks) is extremely intimidating to me. I'm not the most coordinated and steadiest person on my feet! But getting out of your comfort zone is what is necessary to advance yourself and acheive new goals! Being a wimp isn't going to get me anywhere. So Roxy and Sarah G. and I are gonna bring it on in one form or another!

I've been doing okay nutritionally. Actually all of my meals have been GREAT, but I've used way too many Flex Points on Christmas cookies and desserts. Not good at all. Especially since I've got supper out at a Thai restaurant on Friday night and a Christmas Party on Saturday night and some sort of great supper I'm supposed to whip up for Sunday. At least on Sunday, I've got the reins completey in my hands. I'm thinking about making healthy lasagne roll ups with salad and garlic bread etc.

Roxy Rocks

My buddy Roxy (and Sarah G.'s friend) reads my blog and joined WW online a while ago to lose a modest, but stubborn 5-10 lbs and was successful and was a very stunning bride recently. She left me this message on my MSN and I came home to it tonight (after feeling slightly guilty about having the extra dinner dessert square):

"Hey Ang, i have gained weight over the past 4 months, with virtually no excercise (boo). But you have motivated me to do my turbo jam tomorrow morning- i will let you know if i follow through!"

Anyway, I just wanted to put you out there Rox and make sure you're going to follow through with your exercise and I gotta also point out that just knowing that I might have had anything to do with motivating you into doing it (after my recent rough patch) really makes me feel good and helps to maintain my current state of motivation!

Thanks girl, and I hope you don't mind that I posted your message, I thought that it might boost your arse in gear if nothing else!

Lurve ya!

Hidden on the inside pocket of his suit

is a Weight Watcher tracking journal. It's the last thing you expect to see coming out of the inside suit jacket pocket of a lawyer in his early 50's, but he pulls it out and shows me proudly. He's a meetings member and although he has said it's about his 5th or 6th time on WW and not doing the best job at tracking, he's almost at 20 lbs lost in about 15 weeks. He tells me I look great and of course knows I'm a WW follower too. He says that he thinks it's harder for women than it is for men because he's getting some admirable results when he's not tracking and measuring all that precisely. He said his "fist cup size" is bigger than his wife's and she has to drag him back into portion reality sometimes.

He said he sees the women at his meetings who claim they are working hard and exercising every day and showing losses of 0.3lb and he seems to genuinely feel bad for them. Not fair he thinks.

Feeling it

I went to the gym yesterday after work (as planned) and did my work out. I experienced a minor disappointment when I realized that my IPod was nearly dead and nothing sucks more at the gym than not having tunes to sweat to! But I signed up for my machine and waited my turn and warmed up on the Arc Trainor (sans music) and then kicked the girl off the treadmill I wanted when her time was up. Anyway, she tried to squeeze an extra minute of two out of it and I didn't pounce on her the second it turned 5:00 which is what most people do, I stood around casually waiting for her to get off on her own realizing there is a list of people waiting, but she didn't so I had to speak up. She pretended she wasn't paying attention to the time, but come on, who doesn't constantly look at the friggin clock when they're working out?! lol Anyway, I'd likely do the same thing if I was in the groove.

So I went as long as I could without my IPod and then decided to try to squeeze whatever juice she had left when I was into it about 15 minutes. She hung in there the entire rest of the cardio (another 15 minutes) and through my stretching AND through my weights! She didn't let me down even though the bar was red! Good girl!

My original plan for today was to get up and do the bootcamp in the morning before work because I have a dinner planned for tonight at my bosses' house (my bosses are married), but apparently I either didn't cool down long enough yestearday, or I didn't stretch my calve enough, or I over did it because my calve wasn't let that happen this morning. A day off isn't bad anyway. I don't want to screw myself with these injuries lurking around. So today's a day off from exercise, and I"ll be ready to go again tomorrow. My biceps and abs already feel "firmer" from those two days in a row and it feels great!

What's Your Motivational Picture?

As I detailed below, my motivational picture is my being trim and fit in Cuba and enjoying activity on the beautiful beach and being fit enough to get up early in the morning and enjoying an awesome jog with an awesome view of the Cuban coast and then enjoying the healthy fresh fruit etc. for breakfast. Jen illustrated in her comment about her motivational picture being in Italy strolling through the country side in Florence and Venice and trying on an awesome outfil in Milan (which btw sounds really really awesome!) and it got me thinking about what I was listening yesterday on a podcast called Weightloss and the Mind (can't remember which episode) about creating a motivational picture in your mind and moving toward it (what you want) rather than moving away from what you don't want (maybe being unfit, overweight and unhealthy). This idea was what prompted my description of my Cuba picture this morning. And I gotta tell ya, it actually worked! I am tres tres motivated today to move toward that awesome picture I have in my head. And I don't think there is any of you who wouldn't agree that weight loss is really first and foremost a head game. Having your head in the right place is critical to being able to stay on track and stay motivated regardless of how far you have come and how knowledgeable and experienced you are on the subject. This is why I took this podcast to heart because obviously my head needs to be re-freshed and re-motivated and I can honestly say that I 100% feel that I am today :-)



He also said in the podcast that when you're on the treadmill or whatever exercise you are doing and start to suffer through every second of it, you should change your train of thought. He says this train of thought is "moving away from" your idea of what you don't want like being overweight, unfit (or whatever idea you have in your mind of what you don't want) and doing it begrudgingly, he says you should think about it as "moving toward" your idea of what you want to become to get through the workout (i.e. fit, trim, healthy and at your goal weight). You are more likely to get through it more positively.



So with that in mind, what is YOUR motivational picture that you can envision that would make you happy and in ultimate bliss?

My buns are sore

and it feels great! I'm feeling the great wonderful affects of a great workout yesterday at the gym! I'm feeling all the "good" pains associated with it and even though it was a slow stiff walk to the shower this morning, I'm ready to go at it again today. I feel it in my pecks and biceps too and it's really great. It kind of reminds me of highschool soccer season where our coach ran us ragged and I had these sore muscle pains for the entire season.

I miss those days! The memory of it alone is a source of motivation for me. I am beginning to envision myself at my goal and fit and able to participate in some type of non-impact sport.

I think about being in Cuba in April and getting up and playing frisbee or beach volleyball or something active right there on the beach and having fun. Now THAT is a picture I'm going to keep in my head, the picture of a fit, trim me having fun in Cuba and all summer all the way up to and including my wedding. I can do it! I have FOUR months before I'm actually on that beach in Cuba and that's plenty of time to get into shape if I'm consistent with it and give it my all. If I work hard, I can acheive my weight loss goal AND my fitness goals, or at least be well on my way with the fitness part. Imagine maintaining a completely healthy state of body and mind where I actually get up and go for a run in the morning before breakfast in Cuba. What a beautiful place it would be to wake up and go for a run, early enough to mark our spots at the canopy on the beach for the day and finish it up at the breakfast buffet where they have endless assortment of the most fresh and flavourful fruit you have ever tasted. OMG I'm getting pumped just thinking about it! lol Here's my motivation pic that I love so much of Rizzor's beach in Cuba and I just love it!:

I'm gonna print this post and stick it on my fridge and read it every day!

WI Results = +1.2 lbs

I never thought I'd see that "17" number again short of being "with child," but there it is. Accountability is important otherwise that number could turn into more ugly numbers. We are all well aware of how denial is a powerful tool. It let me tip the scale close to 300 lbs, so I am not going to turn a bling eye to my poor performance this past month because I need to put that number out there to all of you because that is my reality and if I don't announce it to all of you than I can't easily put it into the back of my mind.

I constantly have all of you in the back of my mind about how I don't want to let all of you down. And I know I'm not really letting any of you down, only myself, but you are my source of accountability and that is why I've been able to be successful with WW online. Accountability is very very important!

So there it is people. I've been a broken record lately, but I'm not giving up, so no worries about that!

I'M GOING

I'm making the trek into the city to go to the gym! I HAVE to! I've been waaaay too bad this weekend and I need to start my gym commitment today and not wait until Monday when I go to work.

I can't believe I'm going to face another disappointing day on the scale tomorrow morning! It's ALL my own fault damn it! I've said it before and lately I seem like a broken record, but now I'm starting to feel the panic......off I go!

UPDATE: I'm now BACK from the gym where I did 35 minutes on the treadmill, 25 of which was running between 5.0 and 6.0. (Do not underestimate the power of "Sandstorm" by Darude and you should download it immediately! It does wonders for boosting your stamina when you want to push it the extra for a few minutes!)

I then did an easy 5 minutes on a bike, stretched out (long and good especially since my hams were still sore from the beginner bootcamp video and I was so sleepy I don't actually remember stretching), then I did some abs, then to the weight room. I didn't go too crazy in there, but I did do the leg machines and some upper body and also biceps and triceps with the free weights.

It was a good workout all in all because it wasn't busy there. I go to the DalPlex and all of the students are in exams so not many of them were around at the gym.

I came home and needed some protein, so I whipped up an awesome tuna salad which I hadn't made in ages (tuna, light mayo, dijon mustard, chopped celery, green onion, red pepper and green pepper and S&P) and had it on some toasted WW bread with cucumber slices and tomato slices. I also had 1/4c of skim cottage cheese and an apple while I was driving home.

I'm listening to myself rambling on and being so detailed about that because I don't normally do that. But I guess it's my way of giving myself a little pat on the back for being more pro-active in a positive way.

My workout plan this week:

Monday: go at it again full force tomorrow after work cardio and weights.
Tuesday: is a planned dinner after work at my bosses' house, so I won't be doing the gym, but I'll do the bootcamp video in the morning before work.
Wednesday: Gym after work, cardio and weights.
Thursday: No gym, but serious house overhaul. My uncle arrives on Sunday and I have some serious house cleaning to do and Christmas decorating. We must get the tree and outdoor lights up or it might not happen!
Friday: no gym, planned supper with Tasha, Les and Ang M!
Saturday: My Dad will be here and I"ll still be getting the house ready for our guest and getting groceries etc for the week.

The Fitcast

So I started downloading nutrition and health related podcasts from ITunes and I'm now trying to catch up a ton of fitcast podcasts. The hosts of the show are all experienced and accredited people in the fitness industry. Since I'm not yet at a stage in my own fitness where I "get the lingo," I find myself not quite getting what they're talking about when they talk about specific "sets" etc. and I tend to get bored with some of it, but they do talk about nutrition too which obviously is what I'm working on in the main. I started listening to them in the car on my way home from the gym/work and I'm finding that listening to that rather than the radio is starting to help keep me in the right frame of mind.

I've decided that I'm at a stage in my weight loss now where I'm going to have to work really hard on my fitness to try advance myself where I want to be at my goal. My biggest challenge is my fear associated with my MVA injuries. It's really hard to distinguish the difference between what's a normal "good" workout pain, and what's a "bad" injury strain pain. But I'm trying to muster up the courage to push it to the limits and just suffer the consequences. It's been a year and a half and even though I'm still plagued by them, enough time has passed that I should be able to push it. It's SCARRY though guys, it really is. When you've been in a relatively steady state of one type of pain or another, it's scarry to think that I could cause more! So maybe you think I'm a wimp or maybe you think I'm brave, I don't know, but I do know that I'm getting pissed off sitting here spinning my wheels for whatever reason.

I also obviously need something new to focus on because lately my focus on the nutrition side of things is lax. And one thing is for sure, fitness and nutrition go hand in hand. If I'm doing good at the gym, my head stays in the right place and wants to make better food choices. So if I can get back into the swing of regular gym sessions, then it should all fall back into place. Enough of this countdown to Christmas crap, because Christmas is just ONE day and Shirls reminded me of that and it's so true. Why the hell do we drag it out for an entire month? So screw that non-sense. We'll be in Newfoundland for a week over Christmas and although things might be far from ideal while we're there and I'm not a member of any gym there, It's just stupid to let it get into my head that it is somehow an excuse to let things relax NOW when it's weeks before that!

Anyway, here I am same ol' speech for weeks now, but I'm still fighting.

Dream De-coded

I have always been knows for my crazy and vivid dreams. Last night I had a vivid dream. You know the kind where the feeling stays with you all day? Well last night I drempt that it was time to go to Cuba for Jacki's wedding and I was rushing around trying to get everything together and I ended up leaving one of my luggage bags home and it had ALL of my bathing suits in them and I ended up in Cuba with no swim suit! So Jacki and FH and everyone was like, "Ohh it's no big deal, we'll just go and buy one!" So then we had to rent a car and drive around to find a shop and when I finally found one, they suits wouldn't fit! Nope, they wouldn't come close. Boooooooooo I was so upset because I thought it wouldn't be as hard to find a suit since I had lost so much weight. But in this dream, that wasn't the case and what the heck is a girl to do in Cuba for an all inclusive vacation without a frikkin bathing suit huh??? lol

I'm pretty sure this dream has something to do with my slight apprehensiveness about wearing a bathing suit while we're there. It's my thighs that are bothering me. It's weird because 100 lbs ago, I honestly would trot around in my bathing suit and I wasn't really that shy about it. Now, it's another story which is surprising. I will get over it, but I guess it's bothering me for some reason. Oh well, there are worse things to worry about in life!

Anyway, any of you who actually know me are likely smirking to yourselves about this post because a claim to fame of mine is always crazy dreams that I always remember and this one's been on my mind all day!

Morning Off

I have an extra few hours today before I'm due into work. It's nice to be able to take my time this morning and get a few things done around the house before I go. I left the kitchen in a complete mess last night because I started some Christmas baking....yes it's true....I put it off as long as I could, but I simply couldn't resist. It's not so much that I couldn't resist not having the treats around, but I couldn't wait to bake! It's honestly my first real time actually getting into the Christmas baking scene. I made one type of square the past few years, but this year I made all sorts of different things. I mostly made them so that FH could take them to work, so my Dad had some treats to take with him to Cape Breton when he goes when my uncle arrives and so I would have some to take to NL with us when we go. Given the circumstances of FIL's rapidly deteriorating condition, I'm pretty sure that his mom wasn't into doing any baking. They will have a steady stream of visitors during that time, so I'm sure she'd like to have something to offer them. Not that it even matters when someone is losing their battle to cancer, but any little reminder of the season could help.

But here's an early confession: I had a strawberry square for breakfast cause I wanted to taste how they turned out! lol NICE!

My hams still hurt from my beginner boot camp video yesterday so maybe I was just too tired and sleepy to realize how hard I was working! lol I'm going to go and get suited up now and do the video and work off that very tasty but unhealthy strawberry square and of course the scotch cookies I had last night!

Introducing your newest "at home" Bootcamp Diva!

I was saying to FH the other day how much I admired those of you who were able to get up extra early in the morning and haul your buns to the gym or bootcamp, kick some arse, then get ready and go to work! I live outside of the city and my gym is in the city, and it's not really logistical for me to do that time-wise in the morning. But then I remembered I had this "Beginniner Bootcamp" exercise video gathering dust in a closet downstairs. I bought it years ago when I was extremely overweight thinking that I wouldn't be as shy to jump around in my own living room. I think I tried it once or twice and that was it.

So I set my alarm 45 minutes earlier this morning and down to the basement I went all decked out in my gym clothes ready to tackle my at home beginner bootcamp.

PRO: It's at home so I don't have to go out into the cold and drive anywhere to get there and account for any extra morning time.

CON: Within 4 minutes of my head being on the pillow, I'm downstairs trying to be motivated by missy on the big projection screen we have downstairs and I have Miss Lucy jumping up on me on one side and Chandler swatting at my other side occasionally latching onto my leg and biting me! I'm still sort of asleep and I just keep stumbling through it. It's actually funny.

PRO: I can wear whatever little workout outfit I want and I don't have to feel shy.

PRO/CON: I heard they are opening a lululemon at Mills on Spring Garden in May and I bet I'll now feel inclined to buy some cute new workout clothes which will inevitably put a hole in my wallet when I'm supposed to be broke because of wedding expenses instead! :-P

So I got through my first little beginniner wake up boot camp at home. I'd hardly call it a bootcamp, but it got my heart pumping and I worked up a sweat for a half hour. It really wasn't that hard to get up 45 minutes earlier either. Now if for some reason I don't make it to the gym after work, I will always have the fact that I have already started the day with 30 minutes of activity. This new start to my day won't stop me from going to the gym later, just compliment it and give me an extra boost. (Not that I've been a regimented gym-goer as of late, but I try.)

I'm really proud because there were jumping jacks involved and I could do them no problem and I actually flashed back to the last time I did that video and I was doing the modified version. It wasn't necessary this time! I actually almost started immediately into the modified version by default because I was so used to feeling like that's the only way I could! NOPE! I'm a jumping jacks rockstar!

But I was a little ticked because my bum left foot still causes me pain and I can't to lunges properly on that side. That's not bootcamp's fault though.

Soooooooo, I'm feeling great that I did it, even though it wasn't a crazy workout. If I can get through the Winter this way, maybe I can hit the outdoors early morning when the Spring hits!

Skinny Mini Health Buff Called Bigot

I was listening to a radio talk show this morning where there was a health buff lady on from NYC who was one of the guests. She was going on about how Santa Clause is obese and it's not a good message to send out.

Well holy gawd....NOW I understand why I had a weight problem....it's because all of these years I saw images of Santa and all his round obesity and I thought, "Wow I wanna be as big as Santa because he's my role model." Pfffffffffft. C'mon lady, you can do better than that. Haha THEN a lady called in to stick up for Santa and said with 100% sincerity, "Well Santa Clause sits all year round at the North Pole and wears that big snow suit and sits in those malls for hours and hours and anyone can do that is a really special person as far as I'm concerned!" Yup, she was totally serious. I got a good laugh at that for sure. The skinny mini health buff from NYC didn't know what to say to that of course.

So the health buff went on about obesity and how children should never ever ever stressed NEVER should have a can of soda because one soda a day is 14 lbs of fat over a year. And she continued on and on about health issues and how unhealthy obese people are etc. All of these things are concerns, true, but she obviously did not come across as sincerely concerned for people who are obese, only that they were stupid for being obese to begin with because they are all unhealthy. So a caller called in and asked her how much she weighed. She said she was 5'8" and 123 lbs. He called her a bigot because she was judging people by the way they looked and basing her opinions solely on their weight and size alone. She defended herself relying on statistics.

Interesting. Is she a bigot?

Another Brekki Fav

As of late, my new favourite breakfast combo is a WW wrap spread with 1 tbsp of peanut butter and a small banana rolled up. It's 4.5 points and incredibly filling and a really healthy start to the day!

Got 'er Figured

I want to thank meredi for chiming in (as she does so brilliantly) just at the right times to say something to me that hits me right where it needs to. She tells me today that she found 22 points really hard and had just as much trouble going from 23 to 22 points a day - which really is what's happening here now that I think about it. AND she said that now that she's at her goal and on maintenance it's really like heaven. This was the image I had when I first started this journey and I would imagine what it would be like when I got there. I lost that image because I am happy with myself now.

NOW here's where I now understand why I stalled: I get the impression from everyone I know who is on maintenance that is harder than losing the weight. This is not an encouraging thing to hear when you are struggling to get there. I'm not critizing people for telling it like it is, but deep down inside me and I think that the thought of reaching a place of maintenance only to have it be just as hard, if not harder than losing was not something I felt pumped up to get to. The facts are that I am comfortable with myself where I am, so I wouldn't die of disgust if I lived my life right here. Having said that, I'm not at a healthy weight and my goal stands 100% because I have personal and physical reasons for needing to get there.

So I now get it. I mean, I thought I already got it, but this now clicks with me and now that I understand why I was struggling, I can get passed it. I needed that positive image back in my head about what I will feel like when I'm at my goal. So Meredi, thanks soo soo much. I had a great first day OP and I am still just as pumped to kick some arse with the rest of the week too.

New Love: Artichoke & Asiago Tapenade

Nutritionals (per 1 tbsp): 20 cals/ 1.5g fat/ 0 fibre
1 POINT for 2 tablespoons!


SoI found this stuff at the Superstore (President's Choice brand) and it tastes phenomenal and if you're looking for some sort of cracker spread/ dip for a holiday cheese tray, THIS is an excellent and healthy option! I also bought these rye crackers that I found in the international foods section (where they have rice crisp crackers etc. beside the jams - I WILL take a picture and post it, promise) and they are also very good, big and crunchy. One huge cracker (like the size of a rice cake in diameter) spread with 1 tbsp of the artichoke tapenade is a fantastic 1 point snack. It's really crunchy, tastey and pretty substantial for only 1 point.


There is also a black olive tapenade aswell which I haven't tried. It's a bit higher in calories and fat (not much), but the PC rates/reviews only have it 3 starts and the artichoke one was give 5 stars (deservedly). They are found near the pasta sauce jar section. Here's what the black olive one looks like:

Nutritionals (per 1 tbsp): 30 cals/ 2.5g fat/ 0g fibre)

WI Results = STS

As anticipated. I'm actually seriously okay with it because I got it off my chest yesterday and I woke up today ready to start fresh with the new week :-)

I am looking forward

to Monday. It's not often people say that. Friday's usually the great day to look forward to. But I'm looking forward to starting over again and doing it right. There's no more devilish chocolate almonds in my house to screw me up. AND I haven't baked. I haven't done ANY Christmas baking because obviously I'm not in control of what I'm putting in my mouth. So even though I really really want to do some baking, that would be just stupid.

This week I went into the weekend with NO flex left AGAIN (a la chocolate almonds at the first half of the week) and throughout this whole process I always had a respectable amount of points saved for Friday night pizza or whatever the weekend threw me and I can't remember the last time I went into the weekend and stayed OP! It's not acceptable if I want to keep losing to get to my goal. I know that. I'm not one of those people who defensively scream plateau when it's not. I'm not at a geniune physical plateau, I'm at more of a mental plateau and I am finding 22 points a day HARD. I have been up and down on the same 5 lbs since the summer and I don't understand why I'm not getting it together. I KNOW what it takes and it just seems like my head's just not 100% into it to get through the week. I am anticipating a STS tomorrow for WI. But I'm NOT giving up at all! In fact, that's why I'm looking forward to Monday. It all re-starts on Monday and I can try again to get my head in the game for a great successful week. If I can do that, the scale will agree and I can feel great about that and hopefully I'll get kicked back into the grove.

It's harder to get OUT of those set back ruts than it is to stay steady OP that is for sure. I tried to keep a thought in my head about how I felt when I was OP. I said to myself, always remember how great it feels to be OP and in control of what's on MY menu because it's not nearly as hard to stay in that place than it is to try to get there. So, I'm sincerely going at it again hard this week. I hope that the gym will allow me some good workouts, although as of yesterday, my throbbing pain in my shoulder has started to rear its ugly head again and that's more frustrating than any of this weight stuff, but that's a whole other thing and it's just going to upset me to start into that soooooo......

the main point of my post here is to fess up that I've had a bad weekend, spill the beans about my anticipating WI tomorrow and get my thoughts out so that I can start fresh again.

YOU CANNOT ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING THAT YOU GIVE UP ON. All the way baby, whether it takes another friggin year, I don't care....time to get 'er done!

Another Lynn Shout Out!

Today is Lynn's wedding day and she's worked super duper hard at staying OP and has lost 53.3 friggin POUNDS so far! I'm suprised her seamstress could keep up with her! So I wanted to post a little shout out to her and the fact that today is her wedding day. Her theme for her wedding is winter and low and behold this morning when I woke up, Halifax had it's first helping of some snow! It's just enough to cover the grass and provide a great atmosphere to get into the spirit of the snowflakes in her decor.

Good Luck Lynn on your big day (even though you're too busy getting married to read this of course!) We're all thinking of you!

Update - it's semi-storming out here today in Halifax. It's the crazy Maritime weather when it's blue skies and sun for 5 mins and then bouts of mini snow blizzards. So here's hoping the little blizzard bouts are going on while the wedding party is inside!